Alison's House of Grey - Many the Miles - Chapter 3

If Meredith hadn’t witnessed Derek staying up all night, no one could have convinced her that he was sleep deprived. He stood comfortably at the podium, oozing charisma as he churned through computer-aided graphics about the recent advances in neurosurgical procedure and the importance of using teaching hospitals as a pioneer ground. He had just the right amount of energy and humor to keep the audience engaged, and while Meredith wanted to pay attention to every word, her thoughts continued to drift back to the first time she’d heard his voice.

“Hi, is this Meredith?”a voice greeted her as she answered her cell phone. He sounded nervous, but she knew who it was without needing any formal introduction. She had included her phone number in her last email to Derek two hours ago, and now he was using it.

“Yeah. Derek?” she replied just as awkwardly.

“Yeah.” She could almost hear him smiling in relief on the other end. “I was just reading the last email you sent me, and I noticed this series of ten digits after your sign off.”

“My phone number?” she played along.

“I figured it was either that or some hotline for internet addiction that you were referring me to, so I called to see which it was.”

Meredith giggled. “Well, you got me.”

“What a relief,” he said. “So where are you right now?”

“I’m home. My shift ended about an hour ago,” she said. She closed her bedroom door and kicked off her shoes. “You?”

“Still at work. In my office,” he said flatly.

“Do you have to work late tonight?” she asked. She settled onto her bed and piled up the pillows behind her back so she could lean into them.

“Yeah, I don’t think I’m going to go home tonight,” he answered.

“Surgeries?”

“No, just…stuff. I’m going to try to get caught up on some paperwork and writing,” he said. He sounded a little distant, as though he wasn’t sure how to proceed.

“And calling me,” she added.

“Yeah, and calling you." He sighed, and she could hear him relax on the line. "You’re my much needed break.”

“Anytime. Glad to help.”

“Think of it as mutual,” he replied.

Meredith hugged a pillow to her chest and fidgeted with the red satin seam of the pillowcase. “How so?”

“Well, you must have wanted to talk to me, too, if you gave me your number. I figure you've been so enamored with my charm and intelligence that you couldn’t resist,” he said. His teasing was far more amusing on the phone where she could hear him say things than it was on email. It was always charming, but this was something more.

Meredith let out a half giggle, half snort, and he laughed back.

“It’s fine. I don’t care your reasons. It’s just nice to talk to someone,” Derek said as the laughter dissipated.

The smile faded from her face, and a crease formed between her brows.“You sound lonely,” she said.

“Maybe just a little,” he confided in a wistful voice.

“Yeah, me too,” she thought to herself.

They spent the next three hours on the phone together, but even as it approached eleven o’clock in Seattle and two a.m. in New York, Meredith hadn’t wanted to hang up the phone. She could have talked for several more hours and did over the following days and weeks. They’d talked every day on the phone, sometimes for a few minutes here and there throughout the day, other times for marathon phone conversations that lasted well into the night. The sound of his voice had become an addiction that far surpassed any draw Jose Cuervo could hold.

The sight of a folded piece of paper dropping into her lap brought Meredith out of her daydreams. She quickly unfolded it and read Cristina’s note.

Why him? I thought no more guys for a while.

Meredith shot her friend an annoyed look before uncapping her pen and writing back. Complicated. She passed the note back to her friend.

Cristina rolled her eyes and scrawled a response. A pick-up last night is not that complicated.

Meredith quietly drummed her pen against her thigh as she considered how to respond. I’ve known him for a while, she wrote. Cristina was watching over her shoulder as she wrote it, so Meredith didn’t even need to pass it back.

Cristina’s eyebrows arched, conveying her skepticism. “How long?” she mouthed.

Few months, Meredith wrote back.

Cristina grabbed the paper from Meredith and crumpled it loudly.

Derek looked over in their direction at the distraction and stammered for a moment but recovered fast enough that Meredith may have been the only one to notice he'd been rattled.

Meredith sank a bit lower in her chair and folded her arms around her chest. I’m so not ready for this…

Derek’s speech ended a few minutes later and was met with thunderous applause. The Chief announced a ten minute break, and everyone stood to move or stretch or refill coffee, Meredith’s friends included.

“Well, that was bad ass,” Izzie raved. “He really knew what he was talking about.”

Meredith nodded.

“You’re not excited? He’s a neuro person, Mere. He could be your neuro person if he comes to Seattle Grace,” Izzie continued.

Cristina choked back her laughter and coughed. “I bet he could teach you all sorts of things, Meredith. You two, working so closely several hours a day…”

Meredith considered strangling her friend, but the sight of the Chief waving her up to the stage proved a sufficient distraction.

“Excuse me.” Meredith huffed as she passed by Cristina and made her way up to the front of the auditorium where Derek and the Chief were chatting. Her heart fluttered when she noticed Derek smiling at her as she approached.

“Did you need something, Chief?” she said, not directly acknowledging Derek’s presence.

“Meredith, I introduced you to Dr. Shepherd last night, didn’t I?” Richard said.

“Yes.” Meredith smiled. “It was nice to meet you, Dr. Shepherd. I enjoyed your presentation this morning,” she said for the Chief’s benefit. Derek subtly winked at her, and she could feel her cheeks redden.

“Well, this hasn’t been formally announced yet, but Dr. Shepherd will be joining Seattle Grace as our new Chief of Neurosurgery," Richard said. "And since you two will be together so much, I thought you’d be an excellent person to help Dr. Shepherd acclimate himself to our hospital.”

Meredith’s eyebrows arched. Did he just say "because we’ll be together so much?"

Derek jumped in, as if reading her thoughts. “Richard tells me that you’re particularly interested in neuro, so I suspect we’ll be working together a lot.” He smiled warmly, allaying any fears that he’d already broken the news of their relationship to Dr. Webber.

“Oh, sure. Of course,” Meredith stammered. She was certain that her skin was the color of cranberries as she navigated the conversation.

“So could you help show Derek around today? I would do it myself, but I need to stay here to introduce some of the other speakers and make sure things go smoothly,” Richard said.

“I’d be happy to help, sir,” she responded. She shifted nervously and slid her hands into her pockets, unsure of herself. When she'd been alone with Derek, she'd felt confident and in control. But the minute other people were introduced into the equation, the scales of self-assurance tipped decidedly in Derek’s favor.

“Excellent, Grey," Richard said with a nod before returning his attention to his new hire. "Derek, I’ll catch up with you later so we can go through all of the formalities.” Richard moved onto another cluster of doctors gathered nearby, thereby ending the conversation.

“So…” Meredith started as she rolled up onto her tiptoes and back down to her heels. She felt like a child waiting for a parent to take her hand and help her cross the street.

The corner of Derek’s mouth crooked upward as he slung his satchel across his shoulder. “See? I told you. Totally painless.”

“Listening to your presentation? Uh, yeah, it was really good,” Meredith said even though she had barely listened to the content.

Derek laughed. “I was actually talking about convincing Richard to make you my tour guide, but I’m glad you liked the speech.” He crossed one leg in front of the other and leaned against the auditorium stage.

“Oh,” Meredith mumbled. She fumbled with the ID card clipped to her right hip, unable to make eye contact.

“Hey,” Derek nudged, elbowing her playfully. “Are you okay?”

“Sure, just…tired, maybe,” she lied. She was feeling relatively awake, all things considered, but she felt the curious stares of four sets of eyes beating down on her as she talked to the latest Seattle Grace celebrity.

Derek nodded and lifted his hand up to his head, rustling his dark locks. He was beginning to seem as uncomfortable as she was.

“Well, you lead me out of here, and I’ll make sure that you get enough rest to enjoy the rest of our weekend together,” Derek said.

Meredith looked up at him shyly, reassured by the reminder of the weekend ahead. “Okay, let’s go,” she said. There was nothing she wanted more than to retreat into some secret space and return to being Meredith and Derek rather than Dr. Grey, intern, and Dr. Shepherd, incoming Chief of Neurosurgery. It was a dynamic she felt unprepared for, and she doubted she would find the clarity she needed standing in a room of their peers.

She dragged herself up the aisle, navigating around groups of doctors and fellow interns, and trying unsuccessfully to dodge the continued glances of Alex, Cristina, George, and Izzie.

“Meredith!” Izzie called as Meredith neared their aisle.

Meredith drew in a deep breath as she stopped. She wondered if Cristina had put Izzie up to something. “Yeah, Izzie?”

Derek paused behind Meredith, teetering just inside her personal bubble in a way that made Meredith’s hair stand on end at his closeness but couldn’t give any onlooker proof of their relationship.

Izzie raised an eyebrow as if she was waiting for Meredith to introduce Derek or explain where she was going, but Meredith didn’t move an inch. The realization that Derek was hovering just inches behind her left her paralyzed in the spotlight of attention.

“Ah, Dr. Grey,” Derek rescued, “are these the other interns you work with?”

“Yeah,” Meredith said as she exhaled breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. “Let me introduce you. Izzie Stevens, Cristina Yang, Alex Karev, and George O’Malley.”

“Excellent to meet all of you,” Derek said as he shook their hands in turn. His blue eyes sparkled warmly, and Meredith detected the faintest blush cross Izzie’s cheeks in the process. “I’m joining the staff of Seattle Grace, so I’m sure that I’ll be seeing much more of you.”

“You’re coming to Seattle? That’s done?” Cristina interrogated in a tone far less friendly then the one Derek had used.

He nodded. “I’m signing papers today.”

Cristina let out a faint grunt, causing Meredith to shift impatiently. She watched as Derek’s brow furrowed and his head tilted slightly, as if he was trying to see Cristina from a different angle and make sense of her antagonism.

“Well, welcome to Seattle, Dr. Shepherd. If you need any help finding anything here…” Izzie interjected, cutting the tension.

“Thank you.” Derek nodded gratefully. “Dr. Grey and I were just on our way out to start my guided tour, but I’m sure we’ll catch up with you later.” He placed his hand on Meredith’s back, nudging her forward towards the exit.

Meredith jumped as she felt his warm skin pressing through her scrubs and long-sleeved white tee. She knew that the contact would seem casual enough to her friends, but part of her wondered if Derek was intentionally touching her in front of them like some alpha dog marking his territory. She mumbled “bye” and raced up to the exit with Derek following closely behind.

“What was that?” she said as she led him into an empty stairwell and faced him. She could still feel the void left from his touch, and a swirl of conflicting emotions barreled through her as she found herself alone with him.

“I was just about to ask you the same thing. Those are your friends?” Derek questioned.

“Most days," she said. She folded her arms across her chest and lowered her voice. "Derek, you can’t do that.”

“Do what?” he said with an almost mocking tone.

“The hovering, touching thing. Not here. Not with the work-boss-thing…”

Derek took a step forward, cornering her beneath a flight of steps. “If I’m supposed to be your boss, then why are you so bossy?” he asked. A sly smile spread across his lips.

Meredith huffed. “I’m not bossy…”

Derek slid his hand over her hip and met her lips with his. Any determination she had going into the argument melted away. She felt her shoulders relax, and she leaned against the wall, tilting her head to the side so his lips could trail along her jaw and neck. She reached out to his chest, grabbing his silk necktie in her fist while she fought the competing urges to hold him close or push him away.

“So, what were you saying?” Derek murmured between kisses.

She drew his mouth back to hers, mashing against the coarse stubble that framed his lips. She kissed him hungrily, and she felt his teeth tug against her lower lip as they pulled apart, only to resume the cycle all over again.

The thud of someone’s feet plodding down the stairs broke Meredith from her reverie, and she instantly shoved Derek away. Her face was flushed, and her lips were swollen. Hiding all of the evidence would be impossible, but she wasn’t about to get caught in the act.

Derek took a couple of deep breaths in an effort to calm himself down, and Meredith stood in front of him, bracing herself for the stranger about to turn the corner on the flight of steps to head toward them.

Miranda Bailey.

Meredith gulped at the recognition of her resident. Even though Miranda was nothing close to a physical powerhouse, no one else had the power to make Meredith feel like a child in need of a good scolding. This moment, loitering in the stairwell with an attractive older doctor, was no exception.

“Dr. Grey,” Miranda said curtly as she came down the steps. Her eyebrows were arched in disapproval, and she gripped a series of charts to her body as her weight shifted back and forth with each descending step.

“Dr. Bailey.” Meredith clutched the railing and pulled herself up a couple of stairs. If she looked like she was heading up, she might seem less conspicuous.

Her heart thudded in her chest, not yet recovered from the arousal of Derek’s touch and compounded by the fear of Bailey’s interruption. She slowed as Bailey brushed past her, expecting some condescending comment or jab along the way, but Bailey continued on without acknowledging Derek’s presence.

As the stairwell door closed behind the resident doctor, Meredith breathed an audible sigh of relief.

“Do you want to move out of the stairwell?” Derek asked as he passed Meredith on the steps.

“Yes. Definitely,” Meredith said.

“Okay, well, let’s start the tour,” Derek said with little enthusiasm. He marched up the stairs to the landing and opened the door for Meredith to pass by him. A hint of his cologne wafted by her as she entered the corridor. She wanted to lean back in towards his Adam’s apple to breathe in more of the scent, but the sounds of the nearby nurse’s station and a cacophony of scattered televisions provided the reality check she needed. They were in the hospital now. There couldn’t be any sniffing or nuzzling no matter how much she wanted it.

He was going to be her boss.

“So, this wing is mostly patient rooms. The nurse’s station is—“ Meredith started.

Derek took a couple steps forward and stopped. “What’s this room?” he asked as he pointed towards a door clearly labeled On-Call Room. The gleam in his deep blue eyes conveyed his suggestion perfectly.

“It’s…Derek!” she stammered. She cleared her throat and continued walking. “As I was saying…”

She realized she was talking to herself when she heard the click of a door behind her. Derek had slipped inside the on-call room, and he seemed to expect her to follow. She rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. This was going to be far more complicated than she had anticipated.

“Derek,” she said authoritatively as she slid into the room and locked the door behind her. “We can’t just go slipping into on-call rooms.”

“Why not?" he said, almost pouting. "I’m tired. I didn’t get any sleep last night, and I seem to remember you having something to do with that.” He dropped his bag on the floor and started loosening his tie.

“So you just came in here to take a nap?” Meredith asked skeptically.

Derek chuckled as he removed his jacket and tie. He didn’t need to answer. They both knew the agenda.

When Meredith didn’t join in his laughter or move towards him, his smile faded. “What’s going on with you today? Have I said or done something to upset you?” Derek asked.

Meredith shrugged, unable to articulate everything that had knotted her insides over the situation.

Derek slipped off his shoes and sat on the bed, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. He patted the bed, suggesting that she sit next to him on the bottom bunk, before tugging his arms out of the sleeves of his shirt and tossing it onto a nearby chair. He was still wearing a snug white tee shirt that clung to the contours of his muscular arms and chest – features largely masked by his suit.

Meredith felt like she was accepting her doom as she crossed the room and sank onto the bed. The mattress creaked in protest with the addition of her weight, and while she sat a few inches away from him, she could still feel his body heat radiating towards her, luring her closer.

“You’re clearly upset about something,” Derek said. He rested his hand on her thigh with a touch that was more reassuring than sexual.

Meredith sighed, and pulled her hair out of its ponytail. The long honey-colored locks flowed around her shoulders, and she combed her fingers through the strands. With the hair shrouding her face, she could obscure her expression better.

Not that that would help. Their long distance relationship meant that yesterday was the first time he had ever matched her facial expressions with her voice, and he had learned to read her mood months ago.

“What’s wrong?” he asked Meredith after she ended a particularly rough shift. She had just walked into her bedroom and wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed and never leave. She had even thought about sending his call to voicemail, but it stood as the only potential bright spot in her last twenty-four hours.

“Nothing. I’m fine. How was your day?” she lied.

Derek hesitated. “You’re fine?”

Meredith took a deep breath, clearly exasperated with the question. “Yup. I’m fine.”

“Hmm. You’re not a very good liar.”

Meredith's eyes narrowed into a defiant glare.“What makes you think that I’m lying?”

“Well, you kind of have this clipped, dismissive tone to your voice. And your breathing—“

“My breathing?”

Derek grunted in amusement.“We talk on the phone several hours a week. You don’t think that I notice your breathing?”

Meredith turned her head away from the phone and groaned into a pillow.

“I heard that, too,” he said. “So you can’t get out of telling me about your day.”

“Fine.” She took a long, angry pause. “I lost two patients today,” she said.

Meredith crossed her arms in front of her body as reality towered over her, cackling at her naivety. He already knew her too well to let her shelve the conversation.

“How is this going to work exactly?” she asked. “One minute we’re alone and can’t keep our hands off each other, and the next we have to pretend that we barely know each other?”

Derek clasped his hands together in his lap and hunched forward. “I don’t know. Today’s been a little…surreal.”

“How so?” Meredith asked.

“You mean aside from the sleep-deficiency induced hallucinations of gnomes during my presentation?”

Meredith bit down on her lower lip to try to resist laughing, but she couldn't hold it in. “You did not see gnomes. You’re making that up.” She leaned into him, and he smiled victoriously. He was back to being the Derek that had won her over months before they’d even met in person.

“Maybe I am,” he said. “But I can tell that this is really bothering you today.” Frown lines resurrected themselves across his face.

“Last night, when it was just the two of us, it was so easy. But now…”

“Now you don’t know how to tell your friends that you’re dating the new attending,” he finished flatly.

“It’s not something that I can just be like, ‘oh, by the way, this is the new neuro chief who’s not only a brilliant surgeon but great in bed, too.’” Meredith said. “This is going to take some time and thought and explaining, and here, with you, alone, I can’t think of how to explain this.”

Derek moved her hand out of her hair to stop her from fidgeting with the long wisps and interlaced their fingers together. “So don’t,” he said. “Don’t explain anything yet. Let’s just continue our weekend together, and we can figure out the rest of it later. No one needs to know about our relationship until you’re ready to talk about it.” He slid his other hand through her hair and kissed her forehead tenderly, as if to settle the conversation.

“But we need to talk about this, Derek. We need to figure out how our relationship will work at the hospital,” Meredith said. She pulled away from him, and felt like every time one puzzle piece fit together, several more fell apart.

Derek smirked, always confident. “What is there to talk about? We’ll work on cases and surgeries together until you’re good enough to handle them on your own. We’ll see each other all the time, and maybe occasionally we can sneak off to an on-call room together.” He resumed kissing her cheek, drawing her close to him as he made his way toward her earlobe and down her neck.

“You think it can be that easy?” Meredith asked as she closed her eyes and gave into the way his lips and tongue glided over her skin. She wanted to believe that it would be easy, and she was willing to force down the kernel of doubt if he said so.

“I do,” he whispered. “We’ll be fine.” He wrapped his arms around her and eased her onto the bed so they were lying together.

“Okay,” she said, kicking off her shoes. She was too tired to resist, and she didn’t want to fight anyway. She didn’t want to waste these quiet moments when she could shut out the rest of the world and be alone with the one man who seemed to understand her better than anyone.

They finished undressing each other, flinging pants and shirts and scrubs around the room between kisses that grew more frenzied with desire as new skin revealed itself for exploration. The challenges of their relationship became a distant memory as they united in bed.

Once Meredith drifted to sleep in Derek’s arms in post-orgasmic bliss, she felt more comfortable and fearless than ever.