Alison's House of Grey

Relationships 101: Grey's Anatomy Style

2009-11-09T19:33:35Z

[Just to get this out of the way...yes, I'm still alive, although life for me consists of nonstop reading and writing as I tackle FIVE -- yes, five -- graduate level classes this semester. I thought it was a flash of genius when I signed up at the beginning of the semester because it means my load will be so much lighter next semester, but for now, it's hell. And it's interfering with my ability to write fic, which is doubly miserable. But that's not the point.]

The point is...

I've developed a theory about the fandom's relationship with Grey's Anatomy.

I've been reading many reactions to this season of Grey's, and I have to admit, it really stresses me out. Not the show, so much, as the fan backlash. Because honestly, I love the show. I like the way this season is evolving, and while I would like every episode to feature Derek and Meredith heavily, I realize that it's not going to work out that way anymore.

Much like all relationships in my life, my relationship with Grey's has evolved and changed. I used to be completely infatuated and obsessed with every little thing, but that doesn't last forever. It never does, even in the best relationships. There's a theory that relationships go through five stages, and I think it applies to my relationship with Grey's.

Stage 1: The Romance Stage
This was season 1 and 2 for me -- back when the show could do no wrong. I loved everything about it -- the writing, the characters, the back and forth and angst with the Meredith-Derek-Addison triangle. I was obsessed. I lived for Thursday nights, and watched the episodes over and over again. It was the golden age of Grey's when everything was perfect. It made me fall in love with Derek and Meredith, and I couldn't get enough.

Stage 2: The Disillusionment Stage
This struck sometime early in season 3. Derek had left Addison for Meredith, but the show started to flounder. They were dragging out the reconciliation for no apparent reason. Derek was distant, Meredith was insecure, no one ever talked and the show started to get a bit frustrating. I still loved watching, but I was less willing to overlook Meredith being dark-and-twisty and Derek being in denial of the way he perhaps contributed to Meredith's issues. I began to notice the character and writing flaws a bit more, and the reality that maybe Grey's wasn't the most perfect show ever written began to sink in.

Stage 3: The Power Struggle Stage
I was angry when Meredith and Derek never talked about the ferry boat incident, but nothing made me angrier at the show and Shonda than the end of season 3 when Meredith "breaks up" with Derek at the wedding. What was that?! What was the point? I was furious all summer, and I tried to reassert my power by entering the world of fanfic so I could fix all that Shonda had broken. This continued throughout season 4 as we dealt with the sex and mockery debacle and the "let's pretend that Rose could even remotely stand up to Derek's love for Meredith" plot. Tuning in each week wasn't so much an exercise in love. In fact, it often times left me feeling more angry and miserable. But I had faith that it was going to be fixed eventually, so I stood by it. It was a phase that couldn't last forever, and rather than cut the show out of my life, I found ways to make it work for me -- usually through reading or writing fanfic. In relationships, this is the stage where breakups are most likely to occur. Thinking back on what the show did that year, I can see why.

Stage 4: The Stability Stage
With the house of candles and the reconciliation of Meredith and Derek, I moved into the stability stage. I knew that the show wasn't perfect. There would be stupid stuff like Dead Denny and flooded hospitals to make me irritated with the show, but every once in a while I'd get a glimpse of Derek confirming that he still loves Meredith, and I'd be reminded of what made me fall in love with the show in the first place. I didn't see that spark every episode, but it was always nice when it emerged. I could watch and enjoy the show for what it was, and I didn't hold it to the unreasonable standard that everything was perfect as it was in the romance stage because I knew that was just a mirage. The show could be an important part of my life without being my obsession. I watched every week, sometimes wrote fanfics, but I didn't feel guilty about wanting to watch other shows or trying to write about things that weren't Grey's related anymore. It was a healthy relationship.

Stage 5: The Commitment Stage
I think most Grey's fans are at crossroads between stability and commitment. Given that less than 5% of all relationships make it to this phase, I'm not surprised by the fact that a lot of friends and fans aren't watching the show as much as they used to. It's not the same show as it was during seasons 1 and 2 because that kind of show isn't sustainable. It's just like relationships. Anyone that's ever been in a long-term relationship can tell you that it's incredibly exciting when you first meet someone that you feel a connection with, but that excitement changes over the course of the relationship. I've been with my husband for eleven years (married for seven!), and I can definitively say that our relationship is dramatically different now than it was even a few years ago. Relationships change in real-life, and I can't hold Grey's to a different standard. It's natural for the romance to fade, the disillusionment to set in, and the power struggle to commence. You can't fight it. It's not healthy to do so.

I'm in the commitment stage with Grey's. I have a pretty good sense of what the show's about. I know that there are too many characters and not enough emphasis on some of my favorites, but I try not to let that interfere with my enjoyment of the show. If I watch just to see Meredith and Derek, I'm only going to be disappointed because I've seen the show long enough to know that's not what it will deliver. I've accepted that Ellen Pompeo and Patrick Dempsey won't be on the show forever, and I'm learning to like some of the other characters. I don't like them as much as Mer/Der, but that's okay, too.

Shows may come and go, and I'll certainly like some more than others. I've never loved a show as much as Grey's, and even when it's frustrating, I'm glad to have it in my life.

Hopefully the fans that I've come to know through the last several years will join me with their commitment, but I'll understand if you don't. For some, this may be a relationship that's already run its course, so it's time to move on. Just know that you'll be missed.

Back at the Computer...

2009-06-01T19:59:22Z

Yes, I've been hiding for a bit. For those who are curious, here's what I've been up to...

A very busy couple of months started when I took (and did awesome on) the Graduate Record Exam (GRE). I spent my entire spring break studying for it, and then I took the test on a weekend during April. It was a grueling process, but I was happy with the outcome, and now I have some time to figure out where I'll be going for grad school. It's still another year away, but having choices is good. Very good.

Everyone I know is either pregnant or just had a baby. Except for me...no plans there yet. So I've become very familiar with baby shower games, and I may be picking up a frequent shopper card at many baby stores.

My husband graduated law school. Very exciting development, although it meant that we were inundated with 18 relatives from all over the country for about 10 days. To say that was a stressful experience would be the understatement of the millennium, but we survived all the family stuff, and everyone seemed to have a good time.

I finished up the school year and said goodbye to the school I've been teaching at since I'm moving to Alabama in August. That was rough, and it took me much longer to pack up my classroom materials than I was expecting. We now have 30 boxes of stuff cluttering our guest bedroom, so I've been working on weeding through all that, too.

Found a new place to live in Alabama. It's a spacious 2 bedroom apartment that is 1.5x the size of the condo we're in now. I'm looking forward to it.

Took advantage of some of the down time before M starts studying for the bar exam and watched several movies/TV shows on Netflix. We just finished seasons 1 and 2 of The Wire. Season 3 is expected to arrive tomorrow. Yay!

I've started writing a real fic that has nothing to do with any fandom what-so-ever. It's a real challenge, but it's coming along slowly.

Been trying to get some health things straightened out and improve my diet and exercise routines. Going well so far, but it's gonna take some time.

So that's why I've been MIA for a while. It's been a productive couple of months, but I had to shelve all of my fandom-related projects while I did that other stuff. Sorry to anyone I left hanging. It certainly wasn't my intent. The good news is that I'm back now, firmly on summer vacation, and I'm ready to tackle some new projects/challenges. Speaking of new projects...

Mark your calendars for the Grey's season premiere countdown. Starting on Sunday, June 14th, I'm planning to dust off my Grey's DVDs and watch an episode a day until the premiere in September. I'll probably do it over at The Elevator, so anyone interested in ducking in and joining in on the commentary is welcome. I just thought it would be a good way to make it through the long summer break.

Many the Miles - Chapter 3

2009-04-06T13:39:34Z

Title: Many the Miles
Chapter 3 of 20
Pairing: Meredith & Derek
Rating: M
Word Count: 3,968
Summary: After meeting online, Meredith and Derek recognize that they have an instant connection. But when Derek arrives in Seattle, will they be able to make things work? AU for people that hate AU. All of the normal characters and settings you'd find on the show, and lots of drama reminiscent of seasons 1 and 2. Revised version. Previous chapters found here.

If Meredith hadn’t witnessed Derek staying up all night, no one could have convinced her that he was sleep deprived. He stood comfortably at the podium, oozing charisma as he churned through computer-aided graphics about the recent advances in neurosurgical procedure and the importance of using teaching hospitals as a pioneer ground. He had just the right amount of energy and humor to keep the audience engaged, and while Meredith wanted to pay attention to every word, her thoughts continued to drift back to the first time she’d heard his voice.

“Hi, is this Meredith?”a voice greeted her as she answered her cell phone. He sounded nervous, but she knew who it was without needing any formal introduction. She had included her phone number in her last email to Derek two hours ago, and now he was using it.

“Yeah. Derek?” she replied just as awkwardly.

“Yeah.” She could almost hear him smiling in relief on the other end. “I was just reading the last email you sent me, and I noticed this series of ten digits after your sign off.”

“My phone number?” she played along.

“I figured it was either that or some hotline for internet addiction that you were referring me to, so I called to see which it was.”

Meredith giggled. “Well, you got me.”

“What a relief,” he said. “So where are you right now?”

“I’m home. My shift ended about an hour ago,” she said. She closed her bedroom door and kicked off her shoes. “You?”

“Still at work. In my office,” he said flatly.

“Do you have to work late tonight?” she asked. She settled onto her bed and piled up the pillows behind her back so she could lean into them.

“Yeah, I don’t think I’m going to go home tonight,” he answered.

“Surgeries?”

“No, just…stuff. I’m going to try to get caught up on some paperwork and writing,” he said. He sounded a little distant, as though he wasn’t sure how to proceed.

“And calling me,” she added.

“Yeah, and calling you." He sighed, and she could hear him relax on the line. "You’re my much needed break.”

“Anytime. Glad to help.”

“Think of it as mutual,” he replied.

Meredith hugged a pillow to her chest and fidgeted with the red satin seam of the pillowcase. “How so?”

“Well, you must have wanted to talk to me, too, if you gave me your number. I figure you've been so enamored with my charm and intelligence that you couldn’t resist,” he said. His teasing was far more amusing on the phone where she could hear him say things than it was on email. It was always charming, but this was something more.

Meredith let out a half giggle, half snort, and he laughed back.

“It’s fine. I don’t care your reasons. It’s just nice to talk to someone,” Derek said as the laughter dissipated.

The smile faded from her face, and a crease formed between her brows.“You sound lonely,” she said.

“Maybe just a little,” he confided in a wistful voice.

“Yeah, me too,” she thought to herself.

They spent the next three hours on the phone together, but even as it approached eleven o’clock in Seattle and two a.m. in New York, Meredith hadn’t wanted to hang up the phone. She could have talked for several more hours and did over the following days and weeks. They’d talked every day on the phone, sometimes for a few minutes here and there throughout the day, other times for marathon phone conversations that lasted well into the night. The sound of his voice had become an addiction that far surpassed any draw Jose Cuervo could hold.

The sight of a folded piece of paper dropping into her lap brought Meredith out of her daydreams. She quickly unfolded it and read Cristina’s note.

Why him? I thought no more guys for a while.

Meredith shot her friend an annoyed look before uncapping her pen and writing back. Complicated. She passed the note back to her friend.

Cristina rolled her eyes and scrawled a response. A pick-up last night is not that complicated.

Meredith quietly drummed her pen against her thigh as she considered how to respond. I’ve known him for a while, she wrote. Cristina was watching over her shoulder as she wrote it, so Meredith didn’t even need to pass it back.

Cristina’s eyebrows arched, conveying her skepticism. “How long?” she mouthed.

Few months, Meredith wrote back.

Cristina grabbed the paper from Meredith and crumpled it loudly.

Derek looked over in their direction at the distraction and stammered for a moment but recovered fast enough that Meredith may have been the only one to notice he'd been rattled.

Meredith sank a bit lower in her chair and folded her arms around her chest. I’m so not ready for this…

Derek’s speech ended a few minutes later and was met with thunderous applause. The Chief announced a ten minute break, and everyone stood to move or stretch or refill coffee, Meredith’s friends included.

“Well, that was bad ass,” Izzie raved. “He really knew what he was talking about.”

Meredith nodded.

“You’re not excited? He’s a neuro person, Mere. He could be your neuro person if he comes to Seattle Grace,” Izzie continued.

Cristina choked back her laughter and coughed. “I bet he could teach you all sorts of things, Meredith. You two, working so closely several hours a day…”

Meredith considered strangling her friend, but the sight of the Chief waving her up to the stage proved a sufficient distraction.

“Excuse me.” Meredith huffed as she passed by Cristina and made her way up to the front of the auditorium where Derek and the Chief were chatting. Her heart fluttered when she noticed Derek smiling at her as she approached.

“Did you need something, Chief?” she said, not directly acknowledging Derek’s presence.

“Meredith, I introduced you to Dr. Shepherd last night, didn’t I?” Richard said.

“Yes.” Meredith smiled. “It was nice to meet you, Dr. Shepherd. I enjoyed your presentation this morning,” she said for the Chief’s benefit. Derek subtly winked at her, and she could feel her cheeks redden.

“Well, this hasn’t been formally announced yet, but Dr. Shepherd will be joining Seattle Grace as our new Chief of Neurosurgery," Richard said. "And since you two will be together so much, I thought you’d be an excellent person to help Dr. Shepherd acclimate himself to our hospital.”

Meredith’s eyebrows arched. Did he just say "because we’ll be together so much?"

Derek jumped in, as if reading her thoughts. “Richard tells me that you’re particularly interested in neuro, so I suspect we’ll be working together a lot.” He smiled warmly, allaying any fears that he’d already broken the news of their relationship to Dr. Webber.

“Oh, sure. Of course,” Meredith stammered. She was certain that her skin was the color of cranberries as she navigated the conversation.

“So could you help show Derek around today? I would do it myself, but I need to stay here to introduce some of the other speakers and make sure things go smoothly,” Richard said.

“I’d be happy to help, sir,” she responded. She shifted nervously and slid her hands into her pockets, unsure of herself. When she'd been alone with Derek, she'd felt confident and in control. But the minute other people were introduced into the equation, the scales of self-assurance tipped decidedly in Derek’s favor.

“Excellent, Grey," Richard said with a nod before returning his attention to his new hire. "Derek, I’ll catch up with you later so we can go through all of the formalities.” Richard moved onto another cluster of doctors gathered nearby, thereby ending the conversation.

“So…” Meredith started as she rolled up onto her tiptoes and back down to her heels. She felt like a child waiting for a parent to take her hand and help her cross the street.

The corner of Derek’s mouth crooked upward as he slung his satchel across his shoulder. “See? I told you. Totally painless.”

“Listening to your presentation? Uh, yeah, it was really good,” Meredith said even though she had barely listened to the content.

Derek laughed. “I was actually talking about convincing Richard to make you my tour guide, but I’m glad you liked the speech.” He crossed one leg in front of the other and leaned against the auditorium stage.

“Oh,” Meredith mumbled. She fumbled with the ID card clipped to her right hip, unable to make eye contact.

“Hey,” Derek nudged, elbowing her playfully. “Are you okay?”

“Sure, just…tired, maybe,” she lied. She was feeling relatively awake, all things considered, but she felt the curious stares of four sets of eyes beating down on her as she talked to the latest Seattle Grace celebrity.

Derek nodded and lifted his hand up to his head, rustling his dark locks. He was beginning to seem as uncomfortable as she was.

“Well, you lead me out of here, and I’ll make sure that you get enough rest to enjoy the rest of our weekend together,” Derek said.

Meredith looked up at him shyly, reassured by the reminder of the weekend ahead. “Okay, let’s go,” she said. There was nothing she wanted more than to retreat into some secret space and return to being Meredith and Derek rather than Dr. Grey, intern, and Dr. Shepherd, incoming Chief of Neurosurgery. It was a dynamic she felt unprepared for, and she doubted she would find the clarity she needed standing in a room of their peers.

She dragged herself up the aisle, navigating around groups of doctors and fellow interns, and trying unsuccessfully to dodge the continued glances of Alex, Cristina, George, and Izzie.

“Meredith!” Izzie called as Meredith neared their aisle.

Meredith drew in a deep breath as she stopped. She wondered if Cristina had put Izzie up to something. “Yeah, Izzie?”

Derek paused behind Meredith, teetering just inside her personal bubble in a way that made Meredith’s hair stand on end at his closeness but couldn’t give any onlooker proof of their relationship.

Izzie raised an eyebrow as if she was waiting for Meredith to introduce Derek or explain where she was going, but Meredith didn’t move an inch. The realization that Derek was hovering just inches behind her left her paralyzed in the spotlight of attention.

“Ah, Dr. Grey,” Derek rescued, “are these the other interns you work with?”

“Yeah,” Meredith said as she exhaled breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. “Let me introduce you. Izzie Stevens, Cristina Yang, Alex Karev, and George O’Malley.”

“Excellent to meet all of you,” Derek said as he shook their hands in turn. His blue eyes sparkled warmly, and Meredith detected the faintest blush cross Izzie’s cheeks in the process. “I’m joining the staff of Seattle Grace, so I’m sure that I’ll be seeing much more of you.”

“You’re coming to Seattle? That’s done?” Cristina interrogated in a tone far less friendly then the one Derek had used.

He nodded. “I’m signing papers today.”

Cristina let out a faint grunt, causing Meredith to shift impatiently. She watched as Derek’s brow furrowed and his head tilted slightly, as if he was trying to see Cristina from a different angle and make sense of her antagonism.

“Well, welcome to Seattle, Dr. Shepherd. If you need any help finding anything here…” Izzie interjected, cutting the tension.

“Thank you.” Derek nodded gratefully. “Dr. Grey and I were just on our way out to start my guided tour, but I’m sure we’ll catch up with you later.” He placed his hand on Meredith’s back, nudging her forward towards the exit.

Meredith jumped as she felt his warm skin pressing through her scrubs and long-sleeved white tee. She knew that the contact would seem casual enough to her friends, but part of her wondered if Derek was intentionally touching her in front of them like some alpha dog marking his territory. She mumbled “bye” and raced up to the exit with Derek following closely behind.

“What was that?” she said as she led him into an empty stairwell and faced him. She could still feel the void left from his touch, and a swirl of conflicting emotions barreled through her as she found herself alone with him.

“I was just about to ask you the same thing. Those are your friends?” Derek questioned.

“Most days," she said. She folded her arms across her chest and lowered her voice. "Derek, you can’t do that.”

“Do what?” he said with an almost mocking tone.

“The hovering, touching thing. Not here. Not with the work-boss-thing…”

Derek took a step forward, cornering her beneath a flight of steps. “If I’m supposed to be your boss, then why are you so bossy?” he asked. A sly smile spread across his lips.

Meredith huffed. “I’m not bossy…”

Derek slid his hand over her hip and met her lips with his. Any determination she had going into the argument melted away. She felt her shoulders relax, and she leaned against the wall, tilting her head to the side so his lips could trail along her jaw and neck. She reached out to his chest, grabbing his silk necktie in her fist while she fought the competing urges to hold him close or push him away.

“So, what were you saying?” Derek murmured between kisses.

She drew his mouth back to hers, mashing against the coarse stubble that framed his lips. She kissed him hungrily, and she felt his teeth tug against her lower lip as they pulled apart, only to resume the cycle all over again.

The thud of someone’s feet plodding down the stairs broke Meredith from her reverie, and she instantly shoved Derek away. Her face was flushed, and her lips were swollen. Hiding all of the evidence would be impossible, but she wasn’t about to get caught in the act.

Derek took a couple of deep breaths in an effort to calm himself down, and Meredith stood in front of him, bracing herself for the stranger about to turn the corner on the flight of steps to head toward them.

Miranda Bailey.

Meredith gulped at the recognition of her resident. Even though Miranda was nothing close to a physical powerhouse, no one else had the power to make Meredith feel like a child in need of a good scolding. This moment, loitering in the stairwell with an attractive older doctor, was no exception.

“Dr. Grey,” Miranda said curtly as she came down the steps. Her eyebrows were arched in disapproval, and she gripped a series of charts to her body as her weight shifted back and forth with each descending step.

“Dr. Bailey.” Meredith clutched the railing and pulled herself up a couple of stairs. If she looked like she was heading up, she might seem less conspicuous.

Her heart thudded in her chest, not yet recovered from the arousal of Derek’s touch and compounded by the fear of Bailey’s interruption. She slowed as Bailey brushed past her, expecting some condescending comment or jab along the way, but Bailey continued on without acknowledging Derek’s presence.

As the stairwell door closed behind the resident doctor, Meredith breathed an audible sigh of relief.

“Do you want to move out of the stairwell?” Derek asked as he passed Meredith on the steps.

“Yes. Definitely,” Meredith said.

“Okay, well, let’s start the tour,” Derek said with little enthusiasm. He marched up the stairs to the landing and opened the door for Meredith to pass by him. A hint of his cologne wafted by her as she entered the corridor. She wanted to lean back in towards his Adam’s apple to breathe in more of the scent, but the sounds of the nearby nurse’s station and a cacophony of scattered televisions provided the reality check she needed. They were in the hospital now. There couldn’t be any sniffing or nuzzling no matter how much she wanted it.

He was going to be her boss.

“So, this wing is mostly patient rooms. The nurse’s station is—“ Meredith started.

Derek took a couple steps forward and stopped. “What’s this room?” he asked as he pointed towards a door clearly labeled On-Call Room. The gleam in his deep blue eyes conveyed his suggestion perfectly.

“It’s…Derek!” she stammered. She cleared her throat and continued walking. “As I was saying…”

She realized she was talking to herself when she heard the click of a door behind her. Derek had slipped inside the on-call room, and he seemed to expect her to follow. She rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. This was going to be far more complicated than she had anticipated.

“Derek,” she said authoritatively as she slid into the room and locked the door behind her. “We can’t just go slipping into on-call rooms.”

“Why not?" he said, almost pouting. "I’m tired. I didn’t get any sleep last night, and I seem to remember you having something to do with that.” He dropped his bag on the floor and started loosening his tie.

“So you just came in here to take a nap?” Meredith asked skeptically.

Derek chuckled as he removed his jacket and tie. He didn’t need to answer. They both knew the agenda.

When Meredith didn’t join in his laughter or move towards him, his smile faded. “What’s going on with you today? Have I said or done something to upset you?” Derek asked.

Meredith shrugged, unable to articulate everything that had knotted her insides over the situation.

Derek slipped off his shoes and sat on the bed, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. He patted the bed, suggesting that she sit next to him on the bottom bunk, before tugging his arms out of the sleeves of his shirt and tossing it onto a nearby chair. He was still wearing a snug white tee shirt that clung to the contours of his muscular arms and chest – features largely masked by his suit.

Meredith felt like she was accepting her doom as she crossed the room and sank onto the bed. The mattress creaked in protest with the addition of her weight, and while she sat a few inches away from him, she could still feel his body heat radiating towards her, luring her closer.

“You’re clearly upset about something,” Derek said. He rested his hand on her thigh with a touch that was more reassuring than sexual.

Meredith sighed, and pulled her hair out of its ponytail. The long honey-colored locks flowed around her shoulders, and she combed her fingers through the strands. With the hair shrouding her face, she could obscure her expression better.

Not that that would help. Their long distance relationship meant that yesterday was the first time he had ever matched her facial expressions with her voice, and he had learned to read her mood months ago.

“What’s wrong?” he asked Meredith after she ended a particularly rough shift. She had just walked into her bedroom and wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed and never leave. She had even thought about sending his call to voicemail, but it stood as the only potential bright spot in her last twenty-four hours.

“Nothing. I’m fine. How was your day?” she lied.

Derek hesitated. “You’re fine?”

Meredith took a deep breath, clearly exasperated with the question. “Yup. I’m fine.”

“Hmm. You’re not a very good liar.”

Meredith's eyes narrowed into a defiant glare.“What makes you think that I’m lying?”

“Well, you kind of have this clipped, dismissive tone to your voice. And your breathing—“

“My breathing?”

Derek grunted in amusement.“We talk on the phone several hours a week. You don’t think that I notice your breathing?”

Meredith turned her head away from the phone and groaned into a pillow.

“I heard that, too,” he said. “So you can’t get out of telling me about your day.”

“Fine.” She took a long, angry pause. “I lost two patients today,” she said.

Meredith crossed her arms in front of her body as reality towered over her, cackling at her naivety. He already knew her too well to let her shelve the conversation.

“How is this going to work exactly?” she asked. “One minute we’re alone and can’t keep our hands off each other, and the next we have to pretend that we barely know each other?”

Derek clasped his hands together in his lap and hunched forward. “I don’t know. Today’s been a little…surreal.”

“How so?” Meredith asked.

“You mean aside from the sleep-deficiency induced hallucinations of gnomes during my presentation?”

Meredith bit down on her lower lip to try to resist laughing, but she couldn't hold it in. “You did not see gnomes. You’re making that up.” She leaned into him, and he smiled victoriously. He was back to being the Derek that had won her over months before they’d even met in person.

“Maybe I am,” he said. “But I can tell that this is really bothering you today.” Frown lines resurrected themselves across his face.

“Last night, when it was just the two of us, it was so easy. But now…”

“Now you don’t know how to tell your friends that you’re dating the new attending,” he finished flatly.

“It’s not something that I can just be like, ‘oh, by the way, this is the new neuro chief who’s not only a brilliant surgeon but great in bed, too.’” Meredith said. “This is going to take some time and thought and explaining, and here, with you, alone, I can’t think of how to explain this.”

Derek moved her hand out of her hair to stop her from fidgeting with the long wisps and interlaced their fingers together. “So don’t,” he said. “Don’t explain anything yet. Let’s just continue our weekend together, and we can figure out the rest of it later. No one needs to know about our relationship until you’re ready to talk about it.” He slid his other hand through her hair and kissed her forehead tenderly, as if to settle the conversation.

“But we need to talk about this, Derek. We need to figure out how our relationship will work at the hospital,” Meredith said. She pulled away from him, and felt like every time one puzzle piece fit together, several more fell apart.

Derek smirked, always confident. “What is there to talk about? We’ll work on cases and surgeries together until you’re good enough to handle them on your own. We’ll see each other all the time, and maybe occasionally we can sneak off to an on-call room together.” He resumed kissing her cheek, drawing her close to him as he made his way toward her earlobe and down her neck.

“You think it can be that easy?” Meredith asked as she closed her eyes and gave into the way his lips and tongue glided over her skin. She wanted to believe that it would be easy, and she was willing to force down the kernel of doubt if he said so.

“I do,” he whispered. “We’ll be fine.” He wrapped his arms around her and eased her onto the bed so they were lying together.

“Okay,” she said, kicking off her shoes. She was too tired to resist, and she didn’t want to fight anyway. She didn’t want to waste these quiet moments when she could shut out the rest of the world and be alone with the one man who seemed to understand her better than anyone.

They finished undressing each other, flinging pants and shirts and scrubs around the room between kisses that grew more frenzied with desire as new skin revealed itself for exploration. The challenges of their relationship became a distant memory as they united in bed.

Once Meredith drifted to sleep in Derek’s arms in post-orgasmic bliss, she felt more comfortable and fearless than ever.

Many the Miles - Chapter 2

2009-03-31T02:09:34Z

Title: Many the Miles
Chapter 2 of 20
Pairing: Meredith & Derek
Rating: M
Word Count: 3,418
Summary: After meeting online, Meredith and Derek recognize that they have an instant connection. But when Derek arrives in Seattle, will they be able to make things work? AU for people that hate AU. All of the normal characters and settings you'd find on the show, and lots of drama reminiscent of seasons 1 and 2. Revised version. Previous chapters found here.

“Meredith,” a masculine voice called, luring her out of sleep. She smacked her lips together a couple times and swallowed, trying to eliminate the dry, pasty texture from her mouth.

“Meredith,” he persisted, “we need to head out soon. You need to wake up.”

Her eyes fluttered open, slowly adapting to the onslaught of natural light, and the hazy figure calling her name came into focus. Derek.

“I fell asleep,” she mumbled. She had tried to stay awake through the movie at his hotel, but after the third time they’d had sex, there was no chance she could stay awake. He had exhausted her.

Derek smirked as he stood up and knotted his tie. “I noticed. You seemed pretty tired.”

“Did you sleep any?” Meredith asked as she sat up and stretched. She bunched the blankets around her torso when she realized she was still naked.

“Nah, I just finished the movie and got up. I also ordered breakfast. There are waffles with strawberries and scrambled eggs if you want some.” He gestured towards the spread by the window before heading back into the bathroom to finish getting ready.

“Thanks,” Meredith said. She found her clothes scattered around the hotel room floor and dressed before eating.

“I don’t suppose you have any eye drops,” Derek said as he walked back out of the bathroom. He grabbed his suit coat from the closet and swung it over his arms.

Meredith tried to swallow so she wouldn't have to talk with her mouth full. “No, but the gift shop at the hospital might have some,” Meredith said between bites. “Or we could stop somewhere on the way.”

“Okay.” Derek sat in the chair across from her at the small table and took a sip of steaming black coffee. Even after a long, sleepless night, he looked amazing. Meredith suspected that he had developed insane stamina over the years through many long hours as a neurosurgeon. Meredith was nowhere near that level yet, and she doubted she ever would be. She liked sleeping too much.

“Are you supposed to have a shift today?” he asked as she finished off the remaining waffle and moved on to the scrambled eggs.

“No," she said, shaking her head. "I was given the day off to attend the symposium.”

A smile crept across his face. “Convenient,” he said.

Meredith nodded. “Particularly since I’ll be too tired to actually attend.”

“I can give you the highlights later. I’ve heard most of these guys speak before, and they don’t update much between these conferences," he said. "You’ll get all of the benefits of sounding like you were there without any of the pain of experiencing it.”

Meredith found his arrogance sexy. She would decide how justified it was after hearing his presentation.

“And how will I solve the visibility issue?" She slumped against her seat as she mulled over his suggestion. "People I work with will be there. They’re expecting to see me,” she argued. She felt like she was back in high school being persuaded to cut class with her boyfriend of the week.

“We’ll make some cameos,” he said. “I’m supposed to be there, too. Speaking of which…” Derek glanced down at his watch and winced. “Mere—”

“We need to go?” she asked before shoving an oversized bite into her mouth.

“Yeah, I can’t really be late for this,” he said. He gathered up a few papers from the desk and threw them into a black leather satchel. He seemed more tense and serious than the flirty man Meredith had spent the night with.

“I understand." She stood up from the table and slid on her tennis shoes. "We can go.” Her hair was in complete disarray, and she hadn’t thought to pack a toothbrush, so her prep time to head out the door was virtually zero.

Derek grabbed her hand and squeezed as she tried to walk towards the door. “Mere,” he started.

“Yeah?” she answered, surprised by the gesture.

“I’m glad you’re going to be there this morning. Really,” he said.

For the faintest moment, Meredith sensed that the overconfident, incredibly attractive neurosurgeon she was enamored with might just be nervous.

“Of course," she said. "I wouldn’t miss it.” She squeezed his hand back as she grabbed her keys off the night stand and led him towards the door.

----------------------------

“Okay, two things that I need your help with this morning,” Derek said as they approached the sliding glass doors of the main entrance off the employee lot.

“Yes?” Meredith answered. She was taken aback by the seriousness of his tone.

“I need you to point me to the gift shop for those eye drops, and I need to find a coffee stand,” he said coolly. It was a simple request, but there was something about his forceful expression and confidence that reminded Meredith of the reality soon facing them: she was an intern, and he was going to be the Chief of Neurosurgery. He was her superior, and the moment they stepped inside the hospital walls, she needed to get used to taking orders from him.

“The gift shop is through the corridor to the right, and the coffee stand is in the middle of the lobby, beneath the bridge. Do you want me to get you something?" she said. "I was going to swing by there.” Her pace slowed as she waited for his answer, but Derek continued walking, on a mission.

After what seemed like far too long, he noticed that she wasn’t walking beside him any longer. Derek spun around without stopping his forward momentum, shouted “Coffee – black – largest they’ve got,” and continued down the corridor.

“Right,” Meredith mumbled under her breath. Last night they were having hot, passionate sex, and today she was getting his coffee. She dug around in her purse for her wallet, and walked up to the line of doctors and visitors needing an early morning caffeine infusion.

He’s probably just stressed about speaking on so little sleep. Cut him some slack, Mere…You won’t be his permanent coffee bitch…

Meredith shifted her weight from side to side as the line made a steady march forward. She wasn’t sure if he was going to swing back through to pick up the coffee, or if she’d need to deliver it to him. She hoped it would be the former; she didn’t want to search for him.

Within a few minutes, Meredith exited the line with a large coffee and a large mocha latte in hand. Not only would she need caffeine this morning, but she thought a good injection of sugar would also fuel her through the presentations. She ambled through the lobby towards the elevators, determined to loiter there a couple minutes before heading off to locate Derek. She scanned the lobby for him, but much to her dismay, his was not the familiar face she encountered.

“Rough night?” Cristina remarked as she approached.

Meredith leaned back against a square pillar just wide enough to brace her whole body. Her heart started to race from adrenaline, not caffeine, as she prepared for an encounter she was not ready for. “Just didn’t get much sleep,” Meredith said, doing her best to be dismissive.

“Wild and crazy night at the reception?” Cristina asked.

“Nothing special,” Meredith lied. She could feel Cristina studying her every move, and she inadvertently winced under the scrutiny.

Cristina’s eyebrow arched. “Two coffees?”

“Do you want one?” Meredith offered, jutting Derek’s coffee in front of her. It was the only way she could imagine getting out of spilling all of her secrets.

“You got it for me?” Cristina's skepticism was written across her face.

“I felt bad for not calling you last night," Meredith said. "Black, right? You like your coffee black?” She could get Derek another cup, but she could not explain her relationship with Derek to Cristina. Not yet. Cristina would have too many questions that Meredith would not be able to answer.

Cristina shrugged as she took the cup from Meredith’s outstretched hand. "Thanks." She popped off the lid and started gulping it down like it was a tequila shot rather than a steaming hot beverage.

Meredith sighed with relief that the crisis was averted just before she spotted Derek walking towards her. Her eyes grew large, and she shook her head to send her best do not approach look while Cristina continued chugging the coffee.

Derek paused and stared, his brow pinching in annoyance. He held his hands out as if to say “What happened to my coffee?”

Meredith mouthed “sorry,” and her gestures to send him away caused a bit of mocha to spill on her shirt. The burn of the hot latte soaking through her tee caused her to jump, and she quickly tried to wipe it away. By the time she looked back up, Derek was standing in line for the coffee stand, and Cristina was tossing her empty cup into a nearby trashcan.

“Are you going to the presentations this morning?” Cristina asked as she eyed the large stain that seemed to appear from nowhere on her best friend.

“Yeah, I was going to change into scrubs and head down," Meredith answered as she moved towards the elevator and pushed the "up" button. "You?”

“I want to check out a couple sessions. The keynote speaker is supposed to be some New York hotshot that the Chief is trying to recruit,” Cristina said as they stepped into the elevator.

Meredith nodded. I’ve heard that rumor too…

“And I hear he’s pretty hot,” Cristina added.

Meredith nearly choked on her coffee, and blood pooled toward her cheeks. Less than twelve hours ago, she’d been making out with him in this very elevator. Now, her best friend was setting traps for her left and right to spill everything. Cristina must have heard something last night. She must already know…

“I guess we’ll find out soon, huh?” Meredith said.

Cristina smirked, not oblivious to Meredith’s discomfort. “Yeah, I guess so,” she said.

The elevator stopped, and they set out for the locker room. Several interns lingered inside – all assigned to attend the symposium unless given specific alternative duties – and Meredith’s friends seemed to fit that category as they loitered by their lockers chatting.

“So who was the guy, Grey?” Alex asked without bothering with niceties like saying hello.

“Alex! I told you not to say anything!” Izzie snapped. “I told him not to say anything, Mere. Who you sleep with is totally your business, although it did sound like you were having some pretty amazing sex last night. And I know it’s been a while since you brought a guy home,” she said.

Cristina turned towards Meredith, eyes demanding an explanation.

Meredith's heart leapt out of her chest and landed somewhere on the floor. “You were home last night?”

“Yeah, I got home around ten and went straight to bed,” Izzie said.

“But I didn’t see your car…”

“It’s in the shop," she explained. "Alex dropped me off.”

Alex resumed his role as lead interrogator. “So who was the guy?”

“He’s no one. Just some guy I met last night. It was nothing,” Meredith tried to act casual as she returned to her locker and fidgeted with the lock, but she was feeling as transparent as plastic wrap. In fact, if she ever got her locker open, she would consider crawling inside and closing the door.

“It didn’t sound like nothing,” Izzie said. “Either time.”

Cristina snorted. “No wonder you couldn’t sleep last night. Did you meet him at the reception? Is it another doctor?”

Meredith rolled her eyes and beat her head against her locker door in frustration. “Can we not have this conversation? It was nothing. Seriously. I met someone last night, we flirted, we had sex, end of story, and now I need to get ready to sit in the auditorium all day.” She jerked her locker open and yanked out her scrubs. She was irritated that she didn’t have the space to work out some sort of explanation for her relationship with Derek, and she hoped her mini-tantrum would ward off follow up questions.. As long as they backed off, she could figure something out.

Meredith stomped off to a bathroom stall to change in privacy, distressed by how complicated everything felt. Yesterday, when it had just been her and Derek alone, life seemed wonderful and perfect. She was at ease with him and their blossoming relationship, and she was thrilled by the prospect that he was considering a move to Seattle. Now that she was back in the hospital, however, she realized how challenging that scenario would be. Not only would he be her boss, but he would be her friends’ boss. And Bailey’s boss. And even if he came forward to the Chief about their relationship, how would it look for the new Chief of Neurosurgery to be dating an intern? One that he met online, nonetheless. Meredith frowned as she considered the possibilities.

But last night had been perfect. She’d never felt that sort of connection with anyone, and she wasn’t ready to give that up. They’d have to reach some sort of agreement. Maybe they could keep their relationship low key for a while until he established himself at Seattle Grace and she moved further through the program. Then they could be together.

It was worth considering.

Meredith pulled her hair back into a messy ponytail to keep it away from her face. She gathered her off-duty clothes and returned to her locker.

“Izzie and Alex went to get snacks, but I thought I’d wait for you to head down,” Cristina said. She leaned against the lockers with her arms crossed and her foot tapped a fast-paced rhythm on the floor, as if waiting for Meredith was more of a chore than a friendly gesture.

Meredith huffed. “Thanks.” She grabbed a notepad and pen out of her locker. She wasn’t sure if she’d be using it to take notes or pass notes during the presentations, but she figured it would be useful to have either way. “I think I’m ready to go.” Her half-consumed, lukewarm mocha still sat on the bench, and she decided to take that too.

“So are you going to give me any details?” Cristina asked as they walked toward the stairwell.

“I thought we weren’t exchanging details about our sex lives these days,” Meredith said. She pushed open the door and started down the stairs at a quick pace. She hated talking in stairwells. The sounds always seemed to echo much louder than she liked, and she never could be sure that she had privacy there.

“That’s because you haven’t had any information to exchange in so long." Cristina managed to keep up with Meredith effortlessly. "But that doesn’t mean I’m not interested. It must have been good if you went back for seconds.”

Meredith hit the platform for the second floor auditorium and paused before opening the door. A sly smile spread across her lips as she considered Cristina’s comment. “Thirds, actually. I went back for thirds, so yeah, it was pretty good,” she said. She whipped the door open and bounced through the corridor without witnessing Cristina’s reaction. If there hadn’t been a crowd of people standing in line to file in, blocking her route, she would have sprinted to the first available seat. Instead, she slowed to a halt and waited for her friend to join her side.

Cristina craned her neck to survey the crowd shuffling inside. “So which one is he?”

“Cristina…” Meredith rolled her eyes. Cristina wouldn't drop it until she knew.

“You know I’m going to find out eventually,” Cristina said with a condescending stare.

Meredith waved her hands in dismissal. “You get no more information from me. None.”

Cristina grumbled something that sounded like “That’s what you think,” and they made their way through the auditorium door to begin the hunt for seats. A quick survey of the crowd revealed that they had arrived before Alex or Izzie, so Cristina steered them to a row of vacant, highly visible seats so they could wave down their friends later on. Meredith cringed over the fact that she wouldn’t be able to blend in with the crowd given Cristina’s seating choice, but she took the seat anyway. She suspected that Derek would find her no matter where she sat.

Cristina settled into her seat while Meredith stared back at the door to watch for Izzie, Alex, and George. Anything so she wouldn’t have to endure Cristina's heavy scrutiny. She soon sensed that Cristina wasn’t the only one staring at her, however. Derek strolled in with a new coffee cup in hand. His eyes fixed on Meredith, and a sexy smile spread across his lips. For a moment, she forgot about Cristina and smiled back at him. He continued down the aisle and stopped at their seats, making Meredith’s heart stop in the process.

“See? I knew you wouldn’t miss this,” he teased. Even though Cristina was sitting on the aisle seat, he focused all his attention on Meredith.

Meredith crinkled her nose and grinned. “What can I say?” she said.

The look on his face made her melt to the seat cushion. Lust, infatuation, whatever it was, she couldn't help but swoon, and she never swooned. Ever.

“Richard wants me to tour the hospital and go through some paperwork after my presentation this morning, so I don’t know what my schedule will be like just yet,” he said. He shrugged apologetically, conveying that he was just as disappointed.

“I understand.” Meredith nodded.

“Maybe you can be my tour guide?” Derek said. He waggled his eyebrows, and Meredith blushed like a schoolgirl talking to her first crush. She was just about to agree when the sound of Cristina coughing brought her back to reality.

Meredith looked at her friend and catapulted back to reality. This hadn’t been a private conversation at all. So much for not giving Cristina any more information. She sat up arrow straight and cleared her throat to regain seriousness. “That would be fine, Dr. Shepherd. Just let me know.” She bit her lower lip and clasped her hands together in her lap, trying to hold down the pit of anxiety forming in her stomach. She had a lot to learn if she didn’t' intend for anyone to find out about them yet.

Derek’s brow furrowed in confusion and exposed deep concentration lines in his forehead, but he didn’t press the subject any further. He nodded and continued down towards the stage, mumbling something about needing to get going.

Meredith waited for the floor to give way and swallow her up. She prayed for it to happen, but no divine intervention swooped in to save her from Cristina.

“Shepherd’s the triathlete?” Cristina said as soon as Derek had moved beyond earshot.

Meredith turned back to Cristina and spoke in a sharp whisper. “Cristina, if you breathe a word about this to anyone – anyone – I swear…”

Cristina laughed, still disbelieving. “I have to admit, I’m impressed. You get that he’s one of the top neurosurgeons on this planet, not to mention the Chief’s Golden Child, right?”

“It’s complicated,” Meredith said. “I need some time to figure this out.” She massaged her temples with her index and middle fingers, uncertain which was worse – her exhaustion from too little sleep or Cristina’s ongoing Gestapo imitation.

“Sure thing, Mere.” Cristina chuckled. “Have fun playing tour guide today. Something tells me that you’ll be giving more than a one hour tour.”

Meredith rolled her eyes and sank back in her chair. She didn’t even bother to move as Izzie, Alex, and George filed past her and distributed bags of M&Ms and Cheetos to her. The only thing that spurred any action from her fatigued body was the sensation of her cell phone vibrating in her pocket. She withdrew the device and stared at the LCD screen to see one new text message.

I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable. I’m glad you’re here.

Meredith put the phone back in her pocket and looked up towards the stage. Derek sat off to the side waiting for the symposium to start, and he stared straight at her. She flashed a lop-sided smile at him and vaguely detected a wink in response.

If having Cristina and friends badger her about her affair with Derek Shepherd was the worst of her problems, she was up for the challenge.

Many the Miles - Chapter 1B

2009-03-29T19:23:09Z

Title: Many the Miles

Chapter 1B of 20(?)

Pairing: Meredith & Derek

Word Count: 8,519

Summary: After meeting online, Meredith and Derek recognize that they have an instant connection. But when Derek arrives in Seattle, will they be able to make things work? AU for people that hate AU. All of the normal characters and settings you'll find on the show, and lots of drama reminiscent of seasons 1 and 2.

Author's Note: I now have all the chapters written, and I'm nearly done posting this fic on ff.net, but I never posted it on LJ. It's taken me over a year to write, and my writing style has evolved quite a bit in that time. I've made some revisions to the fic (nothing plot-wise), so I'm going to post the revised version here over the next several days. If you've already read it, sorry to be clogging up your flist. If you haven't read it yet, here's your chance. Enjoy!

Chapter 1A here.

She turned out of the hospital parking lot, planning to take Derek to a place she visited often.

The ride was quiet. Derek sank back in his seat, staring out the window, lost in his thoughts. Meredith wondered if he was thinking the same thing she was. For once, the cosmos seemed to be rewarding Meredith Grey for her struggles.

Meredith found an empty space in the parking lot of the Washington State Ferry.

“We’re here,” Meredith announced as Derek continued staring out the window.

“You remembered,” he said as he took in the sight of a gigantic ferryboat on the water. He got out of the car and rushed to Meredith’s side, helping her out of the car as well. He enveloped her in a hug, wrapping his strong, muscular arms around her thin frame.

“How could I forget?" she said. "I don’t know many people who share my love for ferryboats.” She led him to the ticket counter and purchased two round trip tickets to Bainbridge Island.

The passenger deck was largely empty. Most of the commuters had already gone home for the evening, and traffic to Bainbridge Island was particularly light at this time on a weeknight. It was a thirty-five minute ferry ride there, and they would only have a couple hours to stroll around the island, but she knew that it would be the perfect spot to continue their date.

Derek and Meredith wandered on the outside deck, hands intertwined as they talked. The night air was crisp and moist, but Meredith didn’t even notice the goosebumps forming on her skin, and Derek was quick to draw her closer to him the moment he noticed.

“Do you want to go inside?” he offered as he blanketed her in his arms. Meredith had her back to him as they both stared out at the Seattle skyline, the wind blowing through her hair.

“I’m fine here for now, but maybe on the way back,” she said as she settled against his body.

Derek moved her hair off to one side, giving him complete access to the curve of her neck down to her collarbone. She felt her heart race as he leaned in and started a trail of moist, hot kisses under her earlobe, drawing her closer and closer to him.

It would be impossible to say no to him.

She tilted her head to the side, easing his access to her sensitive skin, and closed her eyes. “Derek,” she murmured.

“I can’t help myself,” he said. “It’s…you’re…here.”

“I am.”

“I can see you and taste you and touch you,” he said between kisses.

She broke away and turned around to face him, her eyes heavy with desire. “It’s pretty great, isn’t it?” she said. He couldn’t be the only one to see and taste and touch. She smoothed her hands over his chest, flattening her palms against his pectoral muscles and imagining the warm skin beneath his shirt.

His hands drifted along her body, settling on her hips as he eliminated all space between them. Their eyes met, and he kissed her passionately. Meredith felt as if fire was flooding her veins as she pushed against him, sandwiched between this familiar stranger and the cold, steel rails of the platform. A million people could have been watching them, and she wouldn’t have stopped. She was lost in his world, and she had no inclination to leave.

Eventually, Derek pulled away, tipping his forehead down to lean against hers. “We can’t do this now,” he said.

Meredith sighed.

“I want to do this, believe me. It’s just…we’re on a ferry, and you turn me on so much. I really want to be alone with you,” he said.

Meredith frowned, unable to conceal her disappointment. “Okay,” she said. Did I really say there would be no sex tonight? It’s not really a first date. We know each other. And it’s not like the first date restriction has stopped me before. And he’s only in town for a short time…Within moments she had rationalized exactly where the night would lead.

The ferry docked at Bainbridge Island, and they walked the nearby streets, settling on a coffee shop to pass the time until the last ferry back to Seattle.

“How would you compare New York and Seattle?” Meredith asked before Derek fed her a bite of his chocolate cheesecake. Her lips dragged against the fork, anxious to get every last morsel before Derek took the utensil away.

“No comparison, really," he said. "They’re two totally different worlds. But if I must…”

“You must,” Meredith teased.

“New York is obviously bigger and has a much larger nightlife – not that I’m at all complaining about our activities this evening,” Derek said.

“I hope not.” She washed down her dessert with hot coffee.

“Definitely not. This has been amazing. I never get to do things like this in New York – the city is so congested, opportunities for nights like this just don’t exist.”

“But you like the big city?” she prodded.

Derek shrugged. “There are some things I like about it. The night life and the proximity to my family are definitely upsides. But Manhattan wears on you after a while. And I’m more the outdoorsy type. I’d much rather live in a trailer on some tract of land with a lake and my fishing pole than fight traffic to my brownstone every night.”

“Well, we certainly have plenty of greenery here in Seattle,” Meredith said.

“Are you trying to convince me to move out here?” He quirked a wry, reassuring smile in her direction as he waited for her answer.

Meredith blushed. She wanted to scream yes at the top of her lungs, but it was much too forward for her. She reminded herself to enjoy the time they had together, limited though it may be, and accept that there wouldn’t be anything more.

Derek laughed at her reaction. She didn’t need to say anything for him to know what she was thinking.

“Have you ever been to New York?” Derek asked.

“I visited a few times when I was in college and med school. Weekends with friends mostly,” she said.

“But did you have a tour guide as excellent as me?”

“Well, I’ve never taken the Derek Shepherd guided tour,” she joked. “I can’t really compare.”

He grinned. “You’ll have to try it sometime.”

“I will,” she said. She was already calculating her next stretch of time off, and she was thrilled to receive his invitation.

The final ferry back to Seattle left at 12:55, and they rushed back to the dock just in time to make it. They found themselves practically alone on the boat once again, but this time, they opted for the comfort and warmth of the indoor seating area. They settled in together near a window. Derek wrapped his arm around her shoulders and \kissed the top of her head. If they hadn’t had the caffeine infusion at the coffee shop, Meredith was certain she would have fallen asleep, as warm and comfortable as she felt nestled against him. But she was wide awake, and she had no intention of wasting a single second of their time together.

“Where are you staying in Seattle?” she asked.

“Some Marriott near the hospital," he said. "Pretty standard, boring, lonely room.”

“Aww, that sounds so sad.” She wondered if he was intentionally pointing out that it was lonely. She suspected he said it on purpose.

“It is. Poor Dr. Shepherd, hiding his secret pain alone at night,” he mocked himself.

“Secret pain?”

He laughed. “Not really.”

“Do you want to come over to my place?” She was surprised that her voice came out in a nervous whisper. “It’s no Marriott, but I have a fireplace and we could…hang out, or something.” Jesus, Mere, are you fourteen? Did you seriously just ask him to hang out at your place?

If Derek detected her awkwardness, he didn’t let on. “I’d really like that,” he answered.

Meredith sighed. “Yeah, me too.”

The remainder of the ferry ride and the subsequent drive home went by quickly. Meredith was relieved to see that none of her roommates were home, or, if they were, they weren’t awake. She wasn’t prepared to explain this relationship yet, and she wanted to keep Derek to herself as long as possible.

“You live here?” Derek asked as she parked the car and fumbled to take her keys out of the ignition. “On an intern’s salary?”

“It was my mother’s,” Meredith explained. She opened her door and led the way to the front porch. Motion-sensing lights illuminated their path.

Derek looked at her with concern. “Does she…”

“Don’t worry. She doesn’t live here anymore," she said. "I have a few roommates, but it doesn’t look like they’re home either. They all work at the hospital.” Meredith unlocked the front door and flipped on the foyer light.

“Got it.” Derek nodded.

Meredith gave him a quick tour of the main level and left him to start the fireplace while she found some beer in the refrigerator. Now that she had decided to let him come over to her house, she gave up her alcohol prohibition.

“So, not only are you speaking at the symposium tomorrow, but you’re the keynote speaker?” Meredith questioned as she passed him a beer and settled on the floor next to him. While she always detected that he was brilliant throughout their conversations, she didn’t realize how highly regarded he was in the field. The symposium planning committee spent months choosing speakers, and selection for the keynote position was fiercely competitive. Meredith couldn’t help but feel proud of Derek for being selected.

“Guilty as charged,” Derek said.

“What are you going to talk about?” she pressed.

Derek held up his hands. “I’m not going to waste our time tonight talking about work. If you want to know, you’ll have to come and see me tomorrow.”

Meredith frowned. “What time is your presentation at?” she asked.

Derek looked down at his watch. “It’s later this morning—eight, I think.”

“Derek, that’s less than six hours from now,” she said, surprised at how unconcerned he seemed to be.

His eyes fell with disappointment. “So what are you saying? Do you want to call it a night?” Derek asked.

“No, I don’t. But sleep…don’t you think you should sleep?” Meredith asked.

“I’ll sleep afterwards,” he said coolly. “Have you ever been to one of these?”

Meredith shook her head no.

“You’ll sleep too. Trust me,” he said. “Just not through mine,” he added.

Meredith laughed. “I haven’t committed to going to yours, yet.”

“You’re going. You wouldn’t miss it.” He leaned forward and kissed her, using their chemistry to emphasize his point.

Meredith melted like an ice cube held over a flame. There was no point in resisting him. She wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders and twined her fingers in his hair.

“When do you have to go home?” Meredith asked as she pulled away. She could feel herself becoming attached already. She was falling far too hard for this man, and she knew saying goodbye would be difficult.

“Trying to get rid of me already?”

“Quite the contrary,” Meredith confessed. “I just want to know how much time we have left together before you leave.”

Derek smiled warmly, and his blue eyes sparkled in the glow of the fireplace. “My flight is scheduled for Sunday afternoon,” he said. “And I’m hoping to spend the rest of the weekend with you, if you don’t mind."

Meredith blushed. “That would be good,” she said as calmly as she could manage. “I’ll need to trade a couple shifts to get the time off, but I think I can work something out.”

Derek slid his arm around Meredith’s waist, pulling her closer to him. His head nuzzled against her hair, and she heard him take a deep breath. Everything about the evening had been far better than she had expected. Never in her late night post-phone call fantasies or intermittent email breaks did she expect their first encounter to be anything like this.

“If you need to spend some time at the hospital this weekend, I don’t mind," he said. "I’d like to spend some time there, too.” His voice was low and gravelly, dripping with apprehensive desire.

Amusement radiated from her face. “Why would you want to hang out there? Are you that much of a surgery junkie?” She turned towards him to gauge his reaction.

“It will help me make an informed decision,” he replied.

Meredith’s brow furrowed with confusion. “Decision about what, exactly?”

“About moving to Seattle. Richard offered me a job as Chief of Neurosurgery,” Derek said.

“What?” Meredith shrieked, pulling away from him.

Derek shrugged. “I knew before I got here that I was getting the job offer. It’s part of the reason I wanted to meet you – to see if there’s any potential for us. I didn’t want to say anything in case things didn’t work out. But, Meredith." His voice trailed off into a whisper. “Tonight, with you…it’s been amazing. I know we just met, but I feel like I’ve known you…forever. And I’d really like to give this a try."

Meredith relaxed back towards him. She wanted that too.

“Wow, Derek. This is a lot," she stammered. Her head was spinning at the possibilities.

“I know. It is a lot," he said. "Richard has made an incredibly persuasive offer, and I probably would have seriously considered it even if things didn’t go well between us. But I have to admit, Richard holds nothing over you.”

“So you’ll be moving to Seattle?” she voiced in shock.

“Yeah,” he said, his voice brimming with excitement.

“And you’ll be Chief of Neuro—you’ll be my boss, Derek,” she realized.

“Well, only at work,” he teased. He leaned in and kissed her neck. There was no chance she’d resist.

“But…you…” she said, unable to form a coherent thought with him so close, kissing her.

“I’ll explain it to Richard. It will be fine,” he said as he slid the strap of her dress off her shoulder and ran his thumb against her soft skin.

“Okay.” She inhaled as his lips trailed along her collarbone and towards her sternum before dipping into the valley between her breasts. There was nothing she could say or do to resist him, and she knew she didn’t want to anyway.

Derek’s fingers located the zipper on her dress and slid it lower, exposing the lacy black bra beneath as the dress started to fall towards her hips. Meredith closed her eyes and felt her heart racing in her chest.

“Are you sure about the no sex tonight policy?” he inquired. The coarse stubble on his jaw grazed her skin, tickling her sensitive nerve endings.

“I’m not sure of anything right now,” she murmured as she ran her fingers through his curls. “But I’m not saying no. I’m definitely not saying no.”

“Good,” he whispered. “Neither am I.” He paused to grab a couple pillows from the couch and placed them down on the floor for Meredith to lean back onto. She reached for his shirt and started fiddling with the buttons, slowed by the fact that her eyes were entranced by his and unable to focus on the task her hands were working to complete. There was something luring her to his gaze, and it wasn’t just the reflection from the flames in the fireplace.

Once his shirt was unbuttoned, Derek removed it and threw it onto the couch. Meredith slid her dress off the remainder of the way and did the same. Her skin was flushed and warm, but the heat showed no signs of dissipating as Derek slid his hands around her body to work on unfastening her bra. She could smell the musky scent of his aftershave, and his skin was starting to glisten with sweat. Her lips nuzzled against his neck while her hands glided along his back. He managed to slide her bra off each shoulder and toss the lacy black garment aside. He seemed delighted by the sight of her naked torso, and she leaned back against the pile of pillows, anticipating his further exploration of her body.

He cupped her breasts in his hands, drawing her nipples into hardened peaks with his tongue and mouth. She squirmed beneath him as the sensation rippled lower through her body, and her fingernails resumed grazing his back only to discover that his hips and waist were just out of reach. Her eyes rolled back in her head, and she bit her lower lip, trying to stifle the longing moans from escaping.

Derek continued to drag his tongue lower, kissing a trail towards her navel and then lower still. She arched her back and splayed her legs further apart, inviting him to touch, but he chose to circumvent her black panties and kiss along her inner thigh instead. She reached for the cushions under her head and balled the corners in her fists in an effort to resist touching herself. She was getting so worked up that it wouldn't take him long to bring her to orgasm.

Derek’s hands slid along her hips, gripping the elastic of her panties. Rather than pull them off, however, he started kissing her through the garment, nudging her through the fabric in a way that left her begging him to go further. He soon pulled them away and accommodated, leaving her naked before him.

He resumed kissing her, trailing hot circles with his tongue. She writhed against the carpet in ecstasy, longing for so much more than his tongue to dip inside her. He suckled her slid two fingers inside, building a rhythm that sent her spiraling into orbit. Her hips bucked against him, and delighted whimpers escaped her lips before her body relaxed from its frenzy.

Derek pulled away and grinned. “I’m not done with you yet,” he whispered.

“Good,” she managed back as she sat up and helped him undo the pants that he was visibly straining against. She slid her hands beneath the waistband of his boxers, easing them down his thighs. Her eyes grew wide with lust at the sight of him, and she enveloped his shaft in her hands, circling its wet tip with her tongue. She watched as Derek located his wallet and withdrew a condom. He tore at the wrapper, and she took it from him. She rolled it on and fell back in shock when it began to glow.

“Glow in the Dark condoms?" She gasped. "Seriously?”

He smiled impishly at her. “Just one more thing to make the experience memorable,” he said.

Meredith laughed. “It’s just…”

“What?” He lowered her back down onto the pillows and nudged her legs apart.

Their eyes locked once again and Meredith’s fit of laughter subsided. She bit her lower lip in anticipation as he hovered over her, and she found herself mesmerized by his deep blue eyes.

Derek gripped Meredith’s hips and tilted her up as he slid inside of her. Both gasped at the tight fit. It had been months since Meredith had been with anyone like this, and she felt herself contracting around him, creating whole new levels of friction. His hands moved under her shoulders, pulling her down towards him as he kissed her neck and established a slowly building rhythm that let her feel every inch of him pushing in and slipping out.

“Oh god, I want to do this for hours,” Derek grumbled, barely audible.

Meredith smiled, knowing full well that they’d be doing this several more times over the span of the weekend. She met his mouth with hers and began rocking her hips against him, intensifying the pace in the process. Within moments they couldn’t control themselves any longer. Both climaxed amidst a flurry of excited moans and movements before Derek collapsed on top of her small frame. The weight of his body pinning her to the floor left her almost as breathless as the orgasm before it.

“Wow. That was…” she started.

“Yeah.” He grinned as he cut her off. He rolled off of her and basked in the flickering glow of the fireplace.

Meredith watched in awe as the shadows danced along his chest, tangling in the dark tufts of hair that cascaded along his sternum and feathered out around his stomach. She turned on her side and propped her head on her hand, unable to resist the temptation of running her fingers along his body.

“Well, I feel as though your no sex rule was successful,” Derek teased as he intercepted her hand and drew it up to his mouth.

“Absolutely,” Meredith said as she snuggled against him. “I think I’ll have to extend that rule for the rest of the weekend.”

Derek laughed. “You’ll have to give me a few minutes to recover, at least. I’ve been out of commission a while.”

His comment surprised her. “Out of commission? Really?” Meredith said.

Derek forced an awkward smile and exhaled. “Yeah, I haven’t been with anyone in months.”

“How long?” she pried. Ordinarily she wouldn’t have forced a conversation like this on the heels of having sex, but she was curious. She didn’t suspect that Derek Shepherd was someone who lacked opportunities.

“How long have we been in communication?” he asked.

Meredith shrugged. “Four months, maybe five.”

“Well, then it’s been about six or seven,” Derek replied. “And you?”

“Something like that,” she replied. Although she had given up on men several months ago, she had no interest in discussing her string of one night stands that led up to that decision.

Derek smiled and kissed her cheek before sitting up and searching for his underwear. “Can you point me towards the bathroom?” he asked as he snagged his boxers from the arm of the chair and stood up. The glow in the dark condom still lit against his skin, and Meredith once again fought to suppress a giggle.

“Through the kitchen, second door on the right.”

“Thanks,” Derek answered as he followed her directions.

Meredith reached for the chenille afghan on the back of the couch and wrapped it around her before she got up and wandered towards the kitchen. She found a clean glass inside the dishwasher, and walked over to the refrigerator to use the ice and water dispenser, listening for signs that Derek would be on his way back to her. Within seconds she heard the bathroom door open and his footsteps through the hall, heading towards the kitchen.

“Hi,” she said as she leaned against the cold door of the refrigerator.

He jumped back as though startled before smiling at her. “Hi,” he said. He changed direction to walk towards her.

She offered him the glass of water, and he took a small sip, never taking his eyes off her in the process.

“It’s after three,” Meredith said as she read the digital clock on the microwave. “What do you want to do?”

Derek sighed. “Well, there’s no real point in sleeping since I have to be back up so soon.”

Meredith bit down on her lower lip, quelling her excitement that they wouldn’t be ending their evening together yet.

“I’m going to need to go back to my hotel at some point to change. Maybe we could go back there now, catch a movie on pay-per-view…”

“What kind of movie?” Meredith asked. She let the afghan slide down off her shoulders so that it barely covered her breasts.

“Any one you want,” he stammered. She watched as the pace of his breathing picked up, and his skin flushed.

“I’ll need some clothes,” Meredith whispered. She dropped the blanket to the floor.

“Yeah.”

She leaned forward and met his mouth with hers. Her body pressed against him, and she could feel him becoming aroused again.

“My clothes are upstairs in my bedroom,” she said as she pulled away. His heavy, moist breath fanned against her face as she continued to hover close. “Do you want to come upstairs and help me find something to wear?”

“You lead, and I’ll follow,” he said. His voice quivered with longing, and she answered with another passionate kiss before taking his hand and guiding him upstairs.

Many the Miles - Chapter 1A

2009-03-29T19:16:29Z

Title: Many the Miles

Chapter 1A of 20(?)

Pairing: Meredith & Derek

Word Count: 8,519

Summary: After meeting online, Meredith and Derek recognize that they have an instant connection. But when Derek arrives in Seattle, will they be able to make things work? AU for people that hate AU. All of the normal characters and settings you'll find on the show, and lots of drama reminiscent of seasons 1 and 2.

Author's Note: I now have all the chapters written, and I'm nearly done posting this fic on ff.net, but I never posted it on LJ. It's taken me over a year to write, and my writing style has evolved quite a bit in that time. I've made some revisions to the fic (nothing plot-wise), so I'm going to post the revised version here over the next several days. If you've already read it, sorry to be clogging up your flist. If you haven't read it yet, here's your chance. Enjoy!

“So, which West Coast city are you in again?” Derek asked in their last phone conversation.

Meredith hesitated. He knew this. They'd been talking for months about her internship at Seattle Grace, so it was a weird question to ask.

“Seattle,” she said.

“Ah, Seattle. Ferry boats. I have a thing for ferry boats, you know.” Even across thousands of miles, his charm was palpable.

“Really?” Her voice quivered as she wondered where this was going, but she couldn't think clearly enough to add more to the conversation.

“Yes, and as a matter of fact, I’ll be in Seattle next week for work,” Derek said.

“Seattle, Seattle? Like, my Seattle?” Her heart hammered in her chest as if shocked back to life by a code team.

“Um, I’m not familiar with Seattle, Seattle,” he teased, “let me check my tickets…oh, sorry…I’m going to Seattle, Washington.” His voice trailed off as he laughed.

She wondered if he could detect her blushing through the phone.

His laughter faded to silence. “Meredith," he said, "would you like to meet up while I’m there?”

“I don’t know,” she said. She sucked in a deep breath. “Maybe we should keep this professional.”

“Professional? So you’ve given your phone number to other neurosurgeons you’ve met online?”

She couldn't suppress the smile spreading across her face. Why bother? He couldn't see it anyway

“What if I said that I did?” Meredith said.

“I might become insanely jealous,” Derek shot back.

She rolled over in bed and hugged a pillow to her chest. She was going to meet him. The mystery on the other end of the line would be revealed.

“Emerald City Bar. It’s downtown. I can meet you there around eleven on Thursday. Does that work for you?” Meredith said. She could go. and if he looked like a complete loser, she’d make up some excuse and pretend she never made it. No real risk, she supposed.

“Emerald City Bar. Thursday. Eleven,” he repeated. It sounded like he was writing in the background. “I’ll be the good-looking one in the red shirt.”

Meredith chuckled. “I’ll be the judge of that,” she said.

Meredith sighed as she recalled the last time she'd heard his voice. It had been almost a week – the longest they had gone without speaking since meeting online at a neurosurgical discussion board. Meredith had been researching hemispherectomies, and Derek had managed to steer the conversation away from medicine and into a more personal realm. And because she was tired, lonely and temporarily giving up three-dimensional men, she let him.

But now he was going to become a real person with a last name and a face, and her stomach was tied in knots at the prospect. She’d already spent five months chatting, texting, writing, and calling, building him up to be the ideal embodiment of a man. If the real life version was less than she imagined, she'd have a hard time abandoning the fantasy.

She was starting to regret her agreement to meet him.

She pulled a black dress and heels out of her locker and began changing out of her scrubs. While her encounter with Derek wasn’t scheduled for a few more hours, she did have other things to do. The chief had encouraged her to come to a reception being held for some presenters at the symposium the following day, and she couldn’t exactly get out of it. Seattle Grace was hosting some of the foremost surgeons in the world for a series of presentations, and Meredith was interested in what they had to say.

Still, the transition from scrubs to a dress was a challenging one, and Meredith struggled to finesse the zipper on the back, tangling her long hair in it in the process.

“Jesus, Mere, dress yourself much?” Cristina said as she came into the locker room. "Here." She pushed Meredith’s hair off to the side and slid the zipper the rest of the way up. “What’s got you so dressed up?” she asked.

“Surgepalooza,” Meredith said. “Chief wants me to stop by the reception.”

Cristina stuck her tongue out at Meredith in a fit of juvenile jealousy. “My shift doesn’t end until after the reception. Have fun with that." She placed her hands on her hips and stared at Meredith. "Drinks later?”

“Um, maybe. I’ll have to see,” Meredith evaded. She dug through her locker for some lip gloss.

“What? Expecting some hot doc to whisk you away?” Cristina said.

Meredith spun around, wide-eyed. She wondered what she had heard.

Cristina seemed just as surprised by Meredith's reaction. “Did I touch a nerve or something?”

“No. I’m fine,” Meredith said. “Just uncomfortable being dressed up and stuff. I might just want to go home and change rather than going to Joe’s,” she said, fidgeting with her dress as if to prove her point. “That’s all I meant.”

“Okay, well call me if you want to go,” Cristina said. She grabbed an apple out of her locker and walked back towards the door.

“Okay,” Meredith agreed. Relief flooded over her as she realized that she had covered up her plans with Cristina. She wasn’t ready to explain her online affair to anyone, and that included Cristina.

Meredith finished brushing her hair and applied a little clear mascara before closing up her locker and heading towards the reception area. She couldn’t say that she was excited about going, but it beat watching the clock tick away the hours in anticipation of meeting Derek.

The private reception area was decorated with white table cloths and trays of hors d’oeuvres. A man in a black tie and vest stood in the corner pouring glasses of white and red wines, and syncopated jazz music played in the background – a stark contrast from the beeping and pulsing of machines throughout the rest of the hospital. There was a good sized crowd present – close to 50 people – and within moments Meredith had located the Chief talking to a few men. She took a deep breath and started off in that direction, deciding that she may as well let him know she had listened to his suggestion and stopped by. Even if she decided not to stay, he needed to know that she was there.

“Good evening, Dr. Webber,” Meredith interrupted politely as she stood behind the Chief. Two of the men in the conversation drifted off towards the food table, leaving Richard with an attractive younger man beside him.

“Ah, Dr. Grey, I’m so glad that you could join us.” He smiled as he gazed upon the younger image of Ellis Grey. “Dr. Grey, meet Dr. Shepherd, one of the foremost neurosurgeons in the country.”

Meredith’s eyes caught the intense blue eyes of the stranger before her, and she remained captivated as he reached for her hand.

“Please, just call me Derek,” he said.

Meredith’s heart began to race and her palm felt sweaty as she slipped her hand in his.

I’ll be the good-looking guy in the red shirt…

“Derek?” she repeated, certain that she must have misunderstood him.

He flashed a swoon-worthy grin at her and nodded, expecting her to reveal her own first name.

“I’m Meredith. Meredith Grey,” she stammered. She heard the words coming out of her mouth, but she had no idea what she had said or if she even knew her own name anymore. This was too much of a coincidence.

Derek’s eyes sparkled with recognition as she announced her full name, and he held onto her hand, shaking it a little longer than normal introductory protocol would dictate.

“Derek is going to be our keynote speaker tomorrow,” Richard explained, oblivious to the sparks flying before him. “You could learn a lot from him, Dr. Grey.”

“And I’d love to have the opportunity to teach you,” Derek said with a lascivious smile.

“I’m sure,” Meredith said. She was still in shock. She could feel heat spreading through her body, turning her cheeks a deep crimson that could've matched Derek’s shirt.

“If you’ll excuse me, I see someone else that I need to talk to, but Derek – we’ll continue this conversation later,” the Chief said as he started off towards another group of doctors.

“So, Meredith,” Derek said. His smile stretched to the outer corners of his eyes.

“Yeah.” She bit her lip, and despite the jittery sensation that turned her legs to jell-o, she managed to roll onto her tip-toes. Maybe from a different vantage point, she'd come up with something to say.

“I have to admit that I’m surprised to see you here,” Derek said. “I expected that I would be suffering here at least three hours in a room full of old men before I got the reward of seeing you.”

Meredith took a glass of wine from a passing waiter, relieved to have a distraction to occupy her fidgety hands. “You know," she said. "You could've mentioned that you were speaking at this conference.”

His eyebrow lifted. “Would you have wanted me more if you knew that in advance?” he asked.

Meredith nearly choked on her chardonnay. “Who says that I want you now?” she said after clearing her throat. She needed to diffuse the conversation before it went anywhere too awkward.

“You do," he said with just enough arrogance to appeal to her. "I’m irresistible.” He leaned towards her. A brief scent of his crisp aftershave radiated from his body and overwhelmed Meredith’s senses, making her attraction to him build.

She turned away, trying to regain her composure. “You’re pretty sure of yourself, aren’t you?”

Derek shrugged. “I’m just sure that I’m glad I suggested we meet,” he said. “What do you say we duck out of here early?”

Meredith flashed a lopsided grin at the suggestion. “I don’t know,” she said.

“C’mon, you’ve already been spotted by Richard. How many other people did you want to talk to here tonight?” Derek said. He moved in closer, to a level that entered her personal space and made it look like they were more than colleagues, but Meredith didn’t bother to step back. If anything, she was tempted to push the boundaries and move in even closer.

“I guess we could go,” Meredith whispered. She set her drink on a nearby table.

“Great!” he said. He moved his hand to the small of her back, sending electric chills through her body as they walked towards the door. “Do you have a coat or anything?”

“It’s in the locker room, I think,” Meredith said.

“Okay. Lead the way.” Derek followed behind her.

Meredith walked through the corridor towards the elevator. The hallway was relatively empty for a Friday night, and she was relieved that they had some privacy as she tried to regroup herself. She pressed the button to go down to the second floor, and shifted as the elevator made its way up to them. Derek continued to let his hand linger against the fabric of her dress, and the nearness of his body to hers made her pulse race.

“You know, you never mentioned how stunningly beautiful you are,” Derek said. “I told you that I was good-looking, but you never said anything about yourself.” He leaned in closer to her, hovering near enough that she could feel his warm, moist breath against her skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

Meredith tried not to melt at the compliment. It wasn't often that guys said things like that to her, and if they did, it was to get her into bed. She didn't sense that was the agenda with Derek, at least not exclusively.

The elevator doors opened, and Meredith broke away, moving into the empty steel cavern. Derek strolled in beside her, his gaze fixed on her body. The feel of his eyes on her was enough to take her breath away, and she found herself having to remember to inhale and exhale – the actions weren’t involuntary anymore.

“So, when you’re out on the prowl,” Meredith started as she leaned against the pillows of her bed, the red sheets caressing her skin as she held the phone to her ear.

“On the prowl?” His voice had a mocking quality.

“You know…trying to pick up women and woo them with your charms…”

“Definitely lots of wooing. I’m good with the woo,” he said.

“Would you let me finish my sentence?”

Derek sighed. “Of course. Fire away.”

“What attracts you to someone?”

Derek paused for a long time as Meredith waited. “I wish I could pinpoint something,” he said. “It’s just – a spark, something indescribable. I just know…which is probably not very helpful in answering your question…”

Meredith frowned, disappointed that he couldn’t give her more insight. “Have you experienced that a lot?” she asked.

“No, actually. Only once or twice. It’s just…there’s a moment when I realize that I’m incredibly attracted to someone, and I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s like I’m living in a different atmosphere, and I need her to breathe. The world stops, and she’s all I want.”

“Sounds intense,” Meredith said. She twirled the long strands of hair around her finger as she tried to imagine feeling that way about someone.

“Yeah, I guess it is,” Derek replied. She could tell that he was smiling by the tone of his voice.

They sat on the phone in temporary silence, both thinking the same thing, but neither ready to say it first. Finally, Derek spoke.

“What do you think would happen if we met? In person.”

Meredith exhaled, not realizing that she had been holding her breath. “I don’t know,” she said.

“Do you think we’d have that connection? That spark?”

A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “Maybe.”

“I wish we could find out. I definitely feel the emotional and intellectual connection,” Derek said.

Meredith closed her eyes, imagining what it would be like to meet him and have a physical dimension to their relationship. It was frustrating to feel completely strung out on his texts, emails, and phone calls and not have any tangible relationship to show for it. If she ever decided to start dating again, she feared that she’d be ruined for all other guys.

“Meredith, are you okay?" Derek asked, interrupting her thoughts. "You seem a little distracted.” The elevator door closed in front of them, giving them complete privacy.

Meredith blinked, waking up from her memory. “Yeah, I’m fine, it’s just…you’re here,” she said.

Derek turned towards her, bracing his hands against her arms and caressing soft circles of warmth up and down her bare skin. His eyes gazed on her longingly, as if they were asking a million questions but hoping for a single answer.

Yes.

After what seemed like years, Derek leaned in and kissed her, nipping softly at her lower lip to test her interest. Her body relaxed, and she wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him towards her. She spread her lips and felt his tongue press into her mouth, triggering a wave of sensation throughout her body. She was floating away into a world of complete bliss, and she never wanted to land. It was passionate, erotic, and personal, and when the elevator door announced their arrival and swung open, it was over.

Meredith stepped back, trying to catch her breath. Her skin was flushed and sensitive, and Derek smiled warmly, a combination of pleasure and surprise mixing in his features. He reached for her hand, as if he was unwilling to eliminate the physical contact between them as they started walking towards the locker room.

If this wasn’t the indescribable spark Derek had alluded to, then Meredith wondered if she’d ever find it. This was the most intense first meeting she had ever experienced, and she was already thankful that they were starting the evening together so much earlier than they had planned.

“So, this is the legendary Seattle Grace,” Derek observed as he escorted Meredith through the corridor. More than a couple nurses craned their necks and arched their eyebrows at the mystery man accompanying Meredith Grey. If Cristina hadn’t suspected anything before, she would after the gossip trickled back to her in some discombobulated mess of facts and speculation.

“It is,” Meredith said. The kiss in the elevator was still rendering her relatively speechless.

“Do you like it here?” Derek asked.

Meredith turned to look at him, trying to sense what kind of information he was looking for.

“I like it a lot, actually," she said. She pushed her way into the locker room, relieved to find it empty. "The program is excellent, and I’ve met some wonderful people.”

Derek surveyed the surroundings as he followed Meredith to her locker. Posters and stickers littered the walls as if it was an extension of high school and not a serious realm for students practicing medicine.

“I hear that the locker rooms for residents and attendings are much nicer,” Meredith said, reading his mind.

He laughed. “No, this is fine. It has a certain charm about it.”

Meredith withdrew her hand from Derek’s to work the combination lock on her locker. She always wondered why she even bothered to have it. It wasn’t as if she ever kept anything valuable at work, and now, it seemed more of a nuisance as it held up her contact with Derek. She yanked the steel door open and retrieved her coat and purse, draping each over her arm so she could close the locker again.

Derek's smile reflected her own feelings of giddiness. He took the coat from her arm and opened it up for her, guiding her arms through the sleeves and smoothing the fabric over her shoulders. The sensation of his fingers gliding over her body provided far more warmth than the dark blue trench coat. She spun towards him, hair flurrying behind her, and was surprised when he grabbed onto the ends of the belt, using them to pull her towards him. He tied the belt snugly against her waist, allowing the fabric to hug her slender curves. His line of sight trailed up her body, burning a path of desire along the way before meeting her eyes. He slid his hand around the nape of her neck, lifting any stray hairs trapped below her collar.

She wondered if he could feel the hairs standing on end at his touch. She had never felt so entranced by anyone. If this continued, they’d never make it through the night without ending up in bed together (not that she had firmly decided that was a bad thing).

“Okay, you need to stop,” Meredith said.

Derek withdrew his hand, his expression dropping in disappointment. “Stop what?” he pouted.

She huffed. “The looks.”

“What looks?” he said, still confused.

“The looks like you’re imagining me naked. In bed. With you.”

Derek grinned like a cat that had ensnared a mouse.

“There will be no sex tonight," she said. "We just met, and you’re apparently some hot shot neurosurgical god who is amazingly attractive, but there will be no sex. Not tonight.” She wondered if he could sense from the tone of her voice that her proclamation was more to convince herself.

“Whatever you say, Meredith,” he said. She detected from his wry expression that he was mocking her, but she couldn’t confidently call him out on it. She couldn’t do much of anything with confidence right now.

She needed to change the subject.

“So, I was thinking we could head over to Joe’s,” she said as she walked back into the hallway.

“Joe’s?”

“Emerald City Bar. Joe is the owner. It’s just across the street,” she explained. “They have good food and darts and music.”

“Sounds fine with me,” Derek agreed.

The two walked side by side down the stairs to the lobby level of the hospital and through the main entrance. While they tried to remain casual as they walked, they found themselves bumping into each other, as if there was some magnetic attraction drawing them closer and closer. By the third time that it happened, Derek laughed and reached for her hand, rationalizing that they could steady each other.

Meredith showed no signs of resistance.

Joe’s was starting to get crowded, but Meredith managed to find a table near the bar. She scanned the room for her friends and was relieved to see that they weren’t there to witness her first date with her mystery man. Joe smiled and waved at Meredith, nodding in Derek’s direction, and she smiled back, appreciative of the encouragement. Meanwhile, Derek waited beside her, oblivious to her telepathic conversation with the bartender.

“What can I get you to drink?” Derek asked as she removed her coat.

“Tequila,” Meredith replied. “No, wait…just a water with lime,” she said. It would be better if he made it through the evening without witnessing the impact tequila could have on her—or how many shots it could take to do so.

Derek tilted his head, surprised by her amended request. “You’re not going to drink?”

“No, we might drive somewhere later," she said. "And I want complete control of my faculties with you,”

“Okay, one glass of water coming right up.” Derek ambled toward the bar while Meredith watched. It didn't take long for Derek to strike up a conversation with Joe. She detected from their occasional glances in her direction that they were talking about her, but she couldn’t quite make out what was being said.

Derek took two glasses from Joe and walked back towards her, meandering through the crowd. She grabbed a couple peanuts to shell so it didn’t look like she had been watching him the whole time.

“Your water,” Derek said as he placed the tall glass in front of her and sat in the chair beside her.

“Thanks,” she said. She racked her brain for a conversation starter but drew a blank. Whenever they were on the phone, Meredith felt like they could talk for hours. Now that he was inches away from her, she was at a complete loss for words. Maybe it’s a sign…

“Did you have dinner already?” Derek asked as he looked at the menu of bar food at their table.

“Yeah, I had a bite at the hospital cafeteria before the reception,” she answered. She swirled the ice cubes in her beverage with the long red straw.

Derek nodded and set the menu down. “Yeah, I guess I ate too. It wasn’t anything terribly exciting. Maybe we can get pizza or something later?”

“That sounds good,” she said. She looked up from her glass and made eye contact with him, watching as an equally nervous smile stretched across his lips.

“This is weird isn’t it,” he said.

Meredith nodded. “A little.”

“It’s like it’s our first date, but I already know you so well," he said. "I just can’t get my bearings.”

“Me, neither.” Meredith sighed, relieved that he felt the same way.

“And we’ve already had our first kiss, so we know that the physical chemistry is there,” he said. He turned his wrist so the scotch flowed like waves around the sides of his tumbler.

Meredith blushed. Saying they had physical chemistry was the understatement of the century. Now that they were together, she couldn’t abate the conflicted feelings welling inside of her. On the one hand, she wanted to wrap her arms around him and ravage his body in mind-blowing sex. On the other hand, she didn’t want a sample of something she couldn’t keep. Derek would be back on a plane soon, and the goodbye would be difficult enough without sex thrown in the mix. Still, she couldn’t help but entertain the possibility despite her protestations to the contrary. He could always come back to visit.

Derek took a deep breath and reached for a couple peanuts of his own. His fingers worked at the shells, breaking them open and exhuming the contents in record time.

“So, how long have you been in Seattle?” he asked.

“Most of my life, actually," she said. "I grew up between here and Boston, and I travelled a bit.”

“Do you still have family here?” Derek prodded. She avoided the subject of her family in their previous conversations, a decision that wasn’t unintentional. She just never felt comfortable bringing it up.

“My mom is here still," she said, "but I don’t really know my dad.”

Derek nodded, clearly deciding not to push the daddy issue. “Well, I’m sure your mom is happy to have you back in Seattle. And proud of your neurosurgical aspirations.”

Meredith laughed. “You obviously don’t know my mother.”

He looked at her, surprised by the reaction.

“She was a surgeon as well, and she leaves some pretty big shoes to fill,” Meredith said. She took a long swig of her water, watching Derek’s reaction.

His expression glossed with confusion. "Grey…Grey…" Realization struck. "Ellis Grey?”

Meredith nodded. “You got it!”

“Wow, I can’t believe I never made the connection that you are Ellis Grey’s daughter," he said. "I met her once, you know.”

“How did that work out for you?” Meredith asked. She was terrified of the horror story potential of anyone’s encounter with the unstoppable Ellis Grey.

Derek laughed. “I was younger and perhaps a bit too arrogant about my skills – eager to show off. She was quick to put me in my place,” he recalled.

“That sounds like my mother,” Meredith said.

“Huh. So what’s it like to grow up the daughter of a legend?” Derek asked.

“It’s about as miserable as you might expect," she said. She had no desire to delve into her dark and twisty past. It was on a list of off-limit first date topics just below ex-boyfriends and future plans for marriage and children. "And to get me to say more, I would clearly need to be drinking,” she teased.

He grinned. “I can fix that, you know.”

“Maybe later,” Meredith said.

They continued to banter and talk about places to go and things to do in Seattle while they finished their drinks. They had managed to break through the awkward conversation phase of the evening, and before long they were laughing and joking like old friends. It was only ten o’clock, and the bar was crowding with hospital workers finishing their shifts. Meredith and Derek concluded that they should move on and find somewhere else to go. Derek paid their tab and walked her back to the hospital parking lot.

“So, what's the next stop on my grand tour? For all I know, you could be taking me back to your place to keep me hostage,” Derek said.

Meredith pointed out her car, unlocking the doors so they could get inside. “I have a few ideas, and I don't think you'll protest. Just sit back and enjoy the ride. I promise it'll be worth it.”

Chapter 1 continued here.

I Can't Quite Believe It Myself

2009-03-24T02:24:19Z

In a momentary(?) burst of insanity last week, I think I may have finished writing Many the Miles. There are three, very juicy, action-packed chapters left to post, and then it's done. I'm toying with the idea of adding a fourth sort of epilogue-y thing, but I'm not sure. Right now, I'm leaning against it. I'm not entirely sure when those chapters will go up at ff.net yet. My beta has some major life event going on right now, and I'm trying to be patient to give her the time to deal with that. But just know--they're done, and they're coming.

And wow. I never thought I'd be able to say that. Given that I started this fic as a one-shot in December 2007 while I was still writing Gravity, there were moments that I thought I'd never manage to turn this fic into anything. Then, when it started to sprout legs of its own, I never thought I'd be able to finish it. The final product is going to clock in at 20 chapters and have a word count that's a little over 100k. Insane.

One of the things that has happened as I've worked on this over such a long period is that I've forgotten a bit about some of the earlier chapters. Nothing plot-wise at all -- I've been keeping all the plots and subplots together in my head quite well, I think. But details and such get lost. I never really get a chance mid-project to go back and read what I've written. I finish a chapter to the best of my ability at the time that I'm writing it, and then I move on. The other thing that has happened, and this is certainly true for the timespan in which I wrote MtM, is that I've learned a lot about writing over the course of writing this. I know that the piece isn't even in that regard. Aspects of later chapters are probably much better than some of the earlier ones. So, for that reason, I've decided that I'm going to spend the next few days rereading the fic from start to finish, and I'm going to make some minor revisions. I won't do anything to the plot--all of it will be technical work. Then, since I never got around to posting this fic on my LJ (beyond the first couple chapters, anyway), I think I'll post the modified version here. I'll probably do that over the span of the next couple weeks so it should flood anyone's flist. But I think it will be helpful for me in making sure that I'm satisfied with the ending before I release that part to the rest of the world. I've worked too hard and for too long on this fic to mail it in now.

I guess when this is over, I'll be in the market for a new fic idea to pacify my mind and distract me from the realfic I'm working on...Or, maybe I should just study for the GRE since I'm taking that in 3 weeks. Hmmm...

Prompt 04 from Alison to Aria revised

2009-03-13T13:29:21Z

Given the insanity of ariaadagio's upcoming move and the craziness of last night's episode, I'm changing the prompt for this next stretch (Aria has already ok'd this).

New prompt:
03/13/09 from greysaddict522 to ariaadagio: post 5.17 I Will Follow You Into the Dark, Meredith and/or Derek the morning after Derek's batting practice.

Good luck!

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Operation Derek

2009-03-12T22:53:32Z

Much to my disappointment, I have no shot of watching Greys tonight despite how anxious i've been to see it. I'm on an outdoor education field trip until tomorrow night, and I have no tv or wi-fi. I do, however, have an iPhone with great access to YouTube. So, if anyone finds any links to the mer/der scenes tonight or early tomorrow, could you please hook me up? I've been scheming all week for ways to watch, and I think this is my best bet until I get home.

Off to start a campfire...!

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

The funny thing about snow days...

2009-03-02T11:31:55Z

For the first time in the three years I've been living in Atlanta, I got a snow day. WOOHOO!!!! I grew up in Michigan, where snow days are the norm, but here, it takes a tiny miracle to get the kind of weather conditions to trigger a snow day. For example, the amount of snow that we received yesterday would be laughable to those living in Michigan, but Atlanta's just not equipped to deal with any of it. They don't have rock salt and snow tires and plows all over the place. So overnight, when the temperatures dipped below freezing and all the melted snow and slush turned to ice...that's the miracle I'm talking about.

The funny thing about snow days, from a teacher perspective, is that they completely change my mood waking up. Ordinarily when my alarm goes off, I hit the snooze button several times and then drag my ass out of bed. This morning, I woke up on my own at 4:30am, checked the news on my iPhone (no luck yet), went back to sleep, woke up again at 5:50 (before my alarm), saw my school's name on the list, and bounded out of bed filled with glee. There may have been happy dancing and squeels involved. Even now, it's not even 6:30, and I'm happily pounding on my keyboard. I don't think I've ever done anything happily at 6:30am in all the time I've been in Atlanta.

This is glorious!

And with that, I'm going to go back to bed before the complete benefit of my snow day is lost. *g*

Prompt #02, from Alison to Aria

2009-03-02T00:35:46Z

If you haven't heard at elevatorjunkies already, ariaadagio and I are challenging each other to some MerDer fic writing. Complete rules and details found here.

03/01/2009: Prompt 02 from greysaddict522 to ariaadagio . Post An Honest Mistake. Meredith discovers the obnoxiously large white teddy bear in Derek's study.

Back on the Writing Wagon

2009-02-16T16:08:31Z

By the time I went to bed yesterday, I had written 5,755 words for chapter 17 and shipped them off to my beta as a rough first draft. This makes me exceedingly happy on two levels. First, it means that she can stop holding chapter 16 hostage from me, and I can hopefully get it posted in the next day or so. Second, chapter 17 was the last major roadblock that I can foresee before I finish this fic. I think I'll have 21 chapters total, according to my outline, so the finish line is finally approaching. A few of those chapters are rather action packed, so they may stretch a bit, but the vision of the end is making me happy. Hooray!!!

I'm going to get back to writing now...I only have a few hours left before I'm going to have to shift gears and move onto writing a character sketch for my fiction writing class tonight and completing lesson plans for the week. *sobs*

Writer's Block: It's What's for Dinner

2009-02-15T14:42:33Z

I have been ridiculously MIA lately. Some of it I could rationalize because of an unusually hectic workload; some of it is related to the writing class assignments I've been doing lately (sorry guys, not turning in MerDer fanfic for that!). But really, most of the MIA-ness stems from an overwhelming sense of writer's block. It's weird--I have the whole story mapped out in great detail, but this particular chapter isn't working. I've done some unusual things to try to force the creative juices to flow. For example, the next chapter is actually done and has been with my beta for over a month, but I've requested her to hold it hostage for me so that I can have added incentive to work on the next chapter since that's where my meltdown seems to be occurring. So anyway, I've committed myself to plopping my ass at my desk and writing today, and if anyone has any sage words to pull me out of this rut, lord knows I could use them.

Still Loving It...

2009-01-17T04:54:03Z

I already shared my opinions of last night's episode at elevatorjunkies , but I just finished rewatching the entire episode again, and I must say... I still love it. It was chock full of juicy nuggets of amazing goodness from start to finish. I feel like the show actually has all the right pairings at the moment. The scenes between Owen and Cristina were heartbreaking and rich. Alex and Izzie are so, so tragic in their own way. I adore Mark and his struggle to come to terms with falling for someone who happens to be a 24-year-old Lexipedia.

Then there's Derek. I couldn't love him more. PD totally rocked throughout this episode, and he completely blew me away in the last scene with his mom. I'm thrilled to see that we're finally getting so much info on him and that they're making him more than just a pretty face struggling to work things out with Meredith. It's about time. His character is such a gold mine of potential plot and drama. I love wherever this is going.

I have to admit that as soon as I found out Mama Shepherd was coming on the show, I was incredibly curious about how she'd be written--particularly since I wrote an entire fic about her death. I must say, however, that after going back and rereading the chapters of Gravity where she was alive in flashback form, I could definitely imagine Tyne Daly's character in those scenes. My thrill at that realization almost made up for all the cringing I experienced in seeing how many bad writing habits were on display when I wrote that fic. I can't believe it was a year ago already... Despite the bad habits, it's still the fic I like the most of all that I've written. I'm withholding judgment on Many the Miles until I finish it, but I suspect Gravity might always be my favorite.

Speaking of writing...I signed up for a real, live, 8-week fiction writing class in Atlanta with a professional novelist! Woo hoo!!! It's supposed to be small -- 10-12 writers -- and it's 2 hours once a week. I think I'll get a lot out of it, and maybe -- just maybe -- I can finally move my idea for a non-fanfic novel out of my noggin and onto my laptop. *head explodes*

Okay...off to pack before my inaugural extravaganza. Plane leaves at 4pm tomorrow, and I'm thinking I may need to go shopping for some warmer clothes tomorrow morning. And pack. And do laundry. *gulp*

Things that make you go hmmm...

2009-01-16T04:03:03Z

I am heading to DC in a couple days to attend all sorts of awesome inauguration festivities and party with friends (old and new). I'm thrilled about the whole trip, and my Obama-mania is at a fever pitch. Tonight, however, on the heels of a completely awesome Grey's episode, my husband asked me a question that I couldn't definitively answer.

Who would I rather meet: Barack Obama or Patrick Dempsey?

My love for PD runs deep. He's on my list of 3 celebrities that I get to take a pass on the marriage vows for. After a few minutes of deep deliberation, M finally added that there is no possibility of sex in either scenario, just conversation. So, in the spirit of Obama-mania and the inauguration, I chose Barack, but I'm still a bit conflicted.

Pluses for Patrick:
- the hair
- the charm

Pluses for Barack:
- leader of the free world

Decisions, decisions...I'm glad voting in the election wasn't this hard.

Welcome to 2009!!!

2009-01-03T15:57:35Z

Happy New Year! I hope everyone had a wonderful and safe welcome to the year, and I must say that I'm looking forward to the year ahead. Even though it's the last Saturday of my glorious winter vacation, I feel pretty good about my productivity and relaxation these last couple weeks.

I've been doing some writing (and sent my beta the next TWO chapters of Many the Miles -- but give her, and then me, some time to work on those since it's about 16,000 words that she has to edit and I'll have to fix. *g*).

I've spent major amounts of quality time with M, who, despite living with me, I felt like I hadn't seen in forever given the crazy semester he endured. We managed to clean out our bedroom, closets, office and kitchen/pantry and trashed/recycled/donated a ton of stuff. Just the act of decluttering so much makes me feel better. It was a daunting task, but we did it. And after the last couple weeks of actually taking the time to talk and take care of one another, in many ways, I feel like we're closer than ever. Pretty amazing after being together for 11 years.

I've spent a lot of time reading pro-fic. I had a conversation with ariaadagio recently about books, and she ended up giving me a huge list of recommended reads based on our similar tastes. I've read the first book of the Dark Hunter series by Sherrilyn Kenyon, and I just started reading Outlander by Diana Gabaldon. I've enjoyed both so far, and I intend to read all the books in both series this year. (I also intend to get a library card because all of these trips to Barnes & Noble and Borders--my two favorite stores--are going to bankrupt me.)

Finally, although I tend to hate New Year's Resolutions, that didn't stop me from setting goals for myself for 2009.

There are 9 specific things. Some will be easy, others far more challenging.

1. I want to lose 50 pounds. I've struggled with weight all of my life, and while losing 50 pounds still wouldn't put me at my ideal weight, it would get me close. I want to be healthy and in good shape for a variety of reasons, and it's just time for me to get my act together and do it. I won't burden my flist with the details of my trials and tribulations on this journey, but I do have a separate weight loss blog for anyone who is interested.

2. I need to take the GRE. I tried to schedule a date for it a couple months ago (it was going to be today, in fact), but the website was down at the time, and I took it as a sign. *g* I need to take it this spring, however, and I want to skullfuck it, so studying will be necessary--especially for the verbal part. I suck at analogies.

3. I want to create basic daily routines that I can follow to keep my life in order. Although parts of it are pretty hokey, I like the basic idea of the FlyLady system, and I want to try incorporating that into my life to help me stay organized.

4. I want to get my lesson plans done during the week so I don't have to haul that crap home with me and use my weekend time to do it. I was able to do this at the beginning of the year, and then I stopped. I need my weekends to be work-free if I'm going to preserve my sanity.

5. I hope to average writing 750 words/day. At my peak during NaNoWriMo, I could do that in a half hour. It won't all be fanfic or even fic, necessarily, but some sort of writing. And it's an average, so I can get by if I miss a couple days here and there.

6. I want to read at least 250 pages of pro-fic each week. As long as I find books that are interesting, that should be an easy goal for me. I've become a far better reader in the last year, and I want that trend to continue.

7. I'm going to apply for National Board Certification for my career. It's an arduous process, but one that will make me a better teacher and make me more marketable as I move towards getting a PhD.

8. I want to attend a Reading and Writing program held at the Teacher's College at Columbia this summer. It's a two week program that is incredibly bad ass, but it aligns well with my professional goals and interests, and I've always wanted to do it. This is the first year that it's potentially feasible for me.

9. I want to be a better parent to my dog, Franklin. He's a great dog, and he needs more attention from M and me. I want to take him for longer walks -- at least 30 minutes -- three times a week, or at the very least, play with him that long to help him be more active. He's got a ton of energy, and I'm sure that the behavior problems we've had with him last year stemmed from the fact that we were too busy to take great care of him. The weather has been crappy the last couple days, so we haven't had a ton of outdoor time, but we've been playing fetch with tennis balls a lot in our condo.

So that's it. Do-able, but challenging. What about you guys? Any resolutions/goals you want to share?

Quick update and stuff...

2008-12-18T01:04:16Z

A few things to share in numbered form.

1. I finally updated Many the Miles! Woo hoo!!! Chapter 14 can be found here. Eventually, I will put it all on my LJ page, but I didn't start this story out here, and I haven't gotten around to moving it over yet, but yeah...Maybe over winter vacation.

2. This has been the longest week of the longest school year ever. Monday I had to leave school early because I inadvertently had a showdown with a pile of fire ants, and they won. Ah, the many joys of assisting with supervision during PE. Today, some mystery epidemic struck four teachers in my hall, rendering them violently ill and sending them all home early (including one who had to go to the ER). All were fine when they arrived at school. Coincidence? No freakin' way. Fortunately, I am (thus far) unscathed, but we may need to call in Dr. House to solve this medical mystery.

3. If you are not already a member of the community elevatorjunkies , then a) why the hell not?! and b) you're missing out on my 12 Days of Meredith and Derek countdown AND you're going to miss out on some super awesome holiday one-shots by some fabulous authors. Watch for those on Monday, December 22 (the same day, coincidentally, that I will be packing up my car to drive to Michigan for a week of family and Guitar Hero World Tour).

4. I haven't started any holiday shopping yet. I'm totally fucked. This weekend will be hell.

5. Random Public Service Announcement: If you write a fanfic and include any variation of "I suck at summaries" in your summary, I categorically will not read it. Categorically. If you can't piece together two sentences to describe your story, I have no faith that you can piece together coherent paragraphs or a high-quality plot. There, I've said it. And judging from the summaries I've read in the last few days in my quest to find something new to read, it needed to be said. *stepping off of soap box*

6. I will definitely be around the online world in the next few days, but I don't know that I'll be posting to my personal LJ (probably just at the forementioned elevatorjunkies , which you really do need to join). If I don't get a chance to post here, let me just say that I hope everyone has a wonderful, safe, joy-filled holiday. I have been blessed in "meeting" so many fabulous people online this year and last, and I wish you all the very best as we close out 2008.

Here's hoping 2009 brings some serious Meredith and Derek action!!!!

Putting the Pieces Together

2008-12-15T03:52:40Z

I've been trying to piece together all of the rumors and speculation surrounding upcoming Grey's plots.

Here are the pieces I'm working with, and I don't remember where I got some of this info, so correct me if I'm wrong:

1. Izzie's Denny visions are brain-related, similar to an aneurysm.

2. Derek is involved in the cross-over episodes and goes to LA to visit Addison and possibly her brother.

3. Her brother is a neurosurgeon, and he's also involved in the cross-overs.

I wonder if Derek is going to figure out that Izzie has this condition sometime soon but, given his recent insecurities about all the death involved, decide that he does not want to be the one to operate on Izzie. It's too much pressure and too emotionally complicated for him to handle professionally. Maybe he'll go down to visit Addison's brother to share the details about Izzie's case and lure him up to Seattle to treat her. I don't watch Private Practice, so I don't know anything about this character, but this is the only explanation I can think of for Derek to go to LA and the brother to come to Seattle.

Maybe something good will come of this Denny craziness after all -- more Derek time!!!

Does this make sense?

Holiday Love Meme, Secret Santa Style

2008-12-11T03:28:04Z

I've been trying to pass on warm fuzzies, but heaven knows, I could use some, too, as I think I'm coming down with an acute case of ennui and general malaise...

Holiday Love Meme, Secret Santa Style

Update on All Things Writing Related!

2008-12-10T02:09:18Z

I've been hiding, I know. But I come bearing gifts or at the very least, promises of future gifts!

NaNoWriMo ended, and I was not a winner. That's the bad news. I did, however, write 35,000+ words on Many the Miles, and I outlined all remaining chapters. The next installment is in the hands of a beta (who is far more capable of reading it objectively at this point than I am). I am exercising heretofore unseen levels of patience on posting this chapter because it's an important set up/transitional chapter, so trust me -- you want me to wait for beta feedback. I have the two chapters following this next one done, too, and given the miracle that is known as Christmas vacation, I may just find some additional time to write in the next few weeks.

Speaking of the holidays...I have written a holiday one-shot as part of the moderator secret santa gift exchange at elevatorjunkies. Watch for that on December 22 (the first day that I'm authorized to post it). *g*

Finally, I plan to use the Grey's hiatus to catch up on some episode recaps. I make no promises that I'll do all of the episodes -- I may combine a couple depending on how snarky I feel and how pressed for time I am, but I haven't forgotten those. I just put them off for a while because the ridiculousness of some of the plots (*cough* Denny *cough*) was so unbelievable, I felt like I'd be making fun of a retarded child to do a re-cap. Not that I'm calling Shonda retarded or childish. Although maybe I am...

(Shonda, if you're reading this, I mean retarded in the nicest sense of the word. Really.)

I'll try to post an update soon. In the meantime, what are the rest of you Meredith and Derek fans reading? I need some suggestions!
.

Nano Update

2008-11-10T02:10:52Z

Here's where I'm at on my NaNoWriMo work.

Word Count: 13,992

I'm slightly behind pace for where I want to be, which is problematic because I'm faced with a busy work week. But the story is definitely coming along. I'm hoarding it a bit for the moment while I figure a few things out, but here's a very quick sneak peek to prove that I have, in fact, been working.

Meredith groaned and rolled her eyes. "Slow, Derek. We're taking things slow. Sex? Not slow."

"Oh, I beg to differ. It could be very, very slow," he teased before leaning over to kiss her jaw.

I'll likely have a complete chapter posted later this week when I finish tinkering with it and send it through the appropriate channels. Thanks for being patient. Good things are on the way, I hope!

Weighing In and NaNo Update...

2008-11-04T19:51:33Z

While I am a bit surprised that it is happening so quickly, I have to say that I'm not disappointed that Erica Hahn won't be roaming the halls of Seattle Grace much longer. I think it was a sound decision on ABC's part, and I don't think it was motivated out of homophobia. Erica and Callie haven't garnered much interest at all. Multiple complaints have been made that the show needs to go "back to basics" and return to the core cast of interns, and Erica and Callie time trades off with that. Not to mention the fact that she really didn't have the same kind of chemistry the core cast has. If they're listening to feedback at places like the ABC Studios group and trying to boost plots for the key characters, it makes sense that they need to trim out the ones that aren't working. And, to be honest, if Erica goes, Callie probably should go at some point as well. She doesn't have a strong connection to the core anymore. The only person she really interacts with is Mark, and if they're giving him a relationship with someone else (Sadie/Melissa George), then she becomes pointless. I like Callie, but I don't care about her as much as I care about the others.

I guess the bottom line is that I'm dismayed by the process and its possible loose ends, but happy with the outcome.
On a totally random side note, how awesomely awkward would it be to see Meredith and Derek try to go on a double date with Mark and Sadie? That may be a one-shot waiting to happen as soon as we finally meet her character. Heaven knows, we'll never get to see a Meredith and Derek date on the show, double or otherwise...

NaNoWriMo word count: 8,232.

Starting Up Day #3

2008-11-03T22:31:01Z

Word Count after two days: 6,836 words.

I love weekends. I also love weeks where I get bonus days off. I am thrilled to have tomorrow off for the election (my school is a polling place), and while I won't have the full day to write (I have to help transform Georgia into a Blue State, and I have report cards due on Thursday), I will certainly get more done than I otherwise would have.

The coolest thing to report is that I have 28 ten and eleven-year-olds participating in NaNoWriMo this year through NaNo's Young Writer's Program. I've been building it up for weeks, but today was the day that I let them set their goals and start writing. The highest goal any of them set was 10,000 words, which is quite a bit for them. I have some really gifted writer's in my class, though, so I don't doubt they'll exceed that. I also committed to my 50,000 words on our class poster and I'll be charting my progress right along with them. Obviously, they won't get to read anything that I write, but they're cheering me on nonetheless. In fact, when I talked to them about setting goals today and told them about the 6000+ words I wrote this weekend, they broke into unsolicited applause. It was pretty inspiring. So now I HAVE to make my goal (otherwise I won't get to go to our class party in December). *g*

I've seen a lot of other people are participating in NaNo this year. Hopefully we'll get to share some of our accomplishments soon -- I'm definitely interested in reading what others are working on.

Ok...off to start up Day #3. Thanks for continuing to cheer me on. I should have some fic to share relatively soon.

Day #1 Complete

2008-11-02T17:30:02Z

The good news is that I finished Day #1 with 2,246 words, which puts me ahead of the pace to reach 50,000 this month. The bad news is that it took me much of the day sitting in front of my computer to do so--a luxury I will not have 5 out of every 7 days of the month. So really, I'm just going to have to increase my output on weekends and really focus during the week. I still love writing, though, and I have lots of ideas, so writer's block shouldn't hit for a little while. *fingers crossed*

On a total side note, I think that "fall back" for Daylight Savings Time may be my favorite day of the year. I woke up, made a huge pancake breakfast, read the Sunday paper, made my grocery list for the week, exercised with the Wii Fit for 30 minutes, showered, cleaned the kitchen, and cleared off my desk all before noon today. It makes me feel oh-so-productive. Convenient given that I'm now procrastinating on writing...

One last tangent...How sad is it that Meredith's mom was a surgeon and she didn't even take the time to teach Meredith the proper names for the parts of Anatomy Jane? Talk about easy missed opportunity for some mother-daughter bonding. Really, truly sad.

It's November. Crap.

2008-11-01T13:52:45Z

I've been looking forward to November for months for one reason: NaNoWriMo. I've had little plot bunnies running through my head, ideas churning, and actual ideas for a non-Grey's, non fanfic novel. I figured I'd be further along in Many the Miles than I am, so I could just put it on a one month hiatus and write my little heart out on the other project.

But here's the dilemma:

I'm really enjoying writing Many the Miles at the moment, and I'm not at the point I wanted to be at before I took a break from it.

I could just try to finish it this month as my NaNoWriMo. I think I could finish it in 50,000 words-ish. But then, my dear, patient, generous betas may try to kill or disown me. Because reading the first drafts of 50,000 words? Just be thankful that betas stand between what I write, and what I publish at ff.net.

Either way, I guess I'm going to be writing a lot this month. I'll probably use my LJ as my ~~procrastination device~~ motivator to update on my progress toward 50,000 words. It's a ridiculously large goal, but it would be awesome if I could do it.

Now, if only I could figure out how to avoid my real job for a few days this month. Hmmm...

Happy writing!